Gabi Clayton ~ Olympia, Washgton

Welcome!

My name is Gabi Clayton. I was born in New York City and have lived in Puerto Rico, San Francisco, Vermont, and Mississippi.
I've been in Olympia, Washington since 1988. That is longer than I have ever lived anywhere!

I've always been an activist one way or another. My parents were left wing progressive people and I grew up on picket lines and protest marches, making me what is called 'a red diaper baby'.

I've been married 30-odd (very odd) years to my husband, Alec, and am the mother of two sons, Noel and Bill.

My life has been anything but boring.

In 1995 our younger son Bill was assaulted in a hate crime based on his sexual orientation. He committed suicide a month later. Posting his story on my other website has been a way for me to turn the pain of his suicide into something that can help end the hate and ignorance, and hopefully save other people from what he went through.

I'm a co-founder of FUAH - Families United Against Hate , a trainer and the webspinner for the Safe Schools Coalition , current board chairperson of Youth Guardian Services , on the board and do the website for PFLAG-Olympia and I work with and do the website for Olympia Unity in the Community . See my Organize web page for more information.

I'm a licensed mental health counselor I believe that the work of therapy is about developing a healthy relationship with oneself and with other people in the community. It is about finding ways to live in balance and with integrity in what can be a complicated and difficult world that does not always make that easy.

Okay, I know I'm biased, but I think my husband Alec is a fantastic painter and writer. His art is contemporary/abstract, and you can see quite a bit of it on Alec Clayton: Art and Writing.
He is also a wonderful writer. He writes for three publications in Tacoma (between Olympia and Seattle): an art column called Visual Edge for The Weekly Volcano, and a weekly theater review for The News Tribune. He also writes art reviews for Art Access magazine in Seattle. He publishes his reviews and information about his art and more in his blog South Sound Arts etc. He has essays -- mostly about art, and some about our son Bill -- and excerpts, reviews and ordering information for his books here. He's written a book about art: As If Art Matters, and three novels: Until the Dawn, Imprudent Zeal, and The Wives of Marty Winters. He's self-published so far, and would love an agent and a publisher to work with.

Our son Noel lives in Seattle. He has a degree in acting from Western Washington University in Bellingham. He's a stagehand -- the swing technician at the Bagley Wright stage of The Seattle Repertory Theatre and a Journeyman and the secretary of IATSE Local #15 (the union representing stagehands and projectionists in western Washington).
Noel is a very special young man with a warm heart and a wonderful sense of humor. Do I sound like a proud mom? You bet I am! This is Noel... is a photo collage I did of him years ago. Also see the blog Backstage @ Seattle Rep and Seattle Rep on MySpace.

Our son Bill was openly bi-sexual. In April of 1995, he was assaulted in a hate crime here in Olympia, WA (USA). On May 8, 1995 Bill committed suicide, despite loving support from his family, friends and many wonderful people in our community. Bill was 17 years old. He was a bright, warm and creative young man. He is greatly missed. Please remember him, and speak out to end discrimination, hate speech and violence against people who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered -- and against anyone for any reason. I published Bill's story on a website I created after his death that focuses mostly on GLBTQ issues and resources, but it is all connected. We are all connected. And silence is where the hate grows.

If you would like to know more about what happened to Bill, please read Bill's Story -- Portrait of a Son's Suicide.
Thank you to Youth Guardian Services for hosting that website for me.

Catherine is very much a part of our family. She was one of the very first people we met when we moved to Olympia in 1988. She was our housemate for several years, and she was and is second mom to our sons. She is a great massage therapist, and she has a gorgeous garden!

That's Steve Schalchlin hugging me! Steve is also family for me. I created The Steve Schalchlin Fan Club (his name is pronounced Shack-lin) A wee bit of silliness meant to seriously celebrate this man who very seriously honored Bill and me. This amazing friend of mine is a songwriter and is the composer of the powerful musicals The Last Session (1996) and The Big Voice: God or Merman? (2002) which he wrote and performs with his wonderful partner Jim Brochu. His website site features a wonderful online diary, Living in the Bonus Round and then he is the person who inspired me to begin a blog with his Living In The Bonus Round: Where time speeds up and the prizes are better. Steve released a CD The Bonus Round Sessions in May 2000. Included on it is Will It Always Be Like This , about which Steve wrote: "Inspired by the true story of our friend Gabi Clayton and her son Bill." The lyrics of that song are here. In August 2002 Steve released a new CD "Beyond the Light" which has another version of the song about Bill on it. His songs are fabulous. In October 2002 he released the original cast recording of The Big Voice: God or Merman? For more information, to hear MP3 clips and to order a CD and more, go to http://www.youth-guard.org/cd. Part of the proceeds from the sale of Steve's CDs benefit Youth Guardian Services.

Soon after September 11, 2001 I wrote: I want to recognize that this is a time when we all are aware of the vulnerability of our country and our people after the attacks on the east coast. I have been reading about people feeling that those acts of terror have stripped away the sense of safety that we as a nation felt. While I acknowledge that is true in some important ways, I would also like to say that it has been a long time - if ever - since many of us felt safe, when so many people in this country and in our world are targeted, harassed, beaten and killed because of bias based on their real or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, race, religion, ethnicity, ability, etc. Many of us have been aware that we have lived in a war zone all along. Six years ago my youngest son was beaten because he was bisexual. He committed suicide a month later because he believed he lived in a world filled with hate he could no longer face. When I watched the news and heard that people were throwing themselves from the windows of the World Trade Center as it was being destroyed, I thought of my son Bill.

Please see this page for my response to 9/11/01 and then to the invasion of Iraq.

This war is not something that I wanted done in my name by my country.