suicide ~ grief Resources I am personally connected with and also local/Washington state ones are listed first, then national, international and internet-only ones.   Bill's Story - Portrait of a Son's Suicide by me, Gabi Clayton. Bill committed suicide when he was seventeen years old in 1995, a month after he was assaulted in a hate crime based on his sexual orientation. There are lots of other related things on my site including thousands of responses to Bill's story from people all over the world. http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/Bills_Story.html NEW: 11-17-09 – Responding to the suicides of two more gay youths — a letter to the community. (pdf format) Listen to "Pesky Angels" (4:34) by The Righteous Mothers This song always makes me think of our son Bill.   It's on two Righteous Mothers CD's: Pesky Angels (1994) and: Best of the Righteous Mothers - The First 25 Years (2006) http://www.righteousmothers.com/ Good Grief Works - my friend Mara Collins in Seattle started this service as a way to promote healing, preparedness and social justice in regards to death, dying and bereavement. Good Grief Works provides support for living by helping address issues of death, dying and bereavement; helping prepare for and cope with end of life matters, including pre-planning, memorials, funerals and grief work. They work to make sure that chosen and biological family members are there for our last days and the celebration of our lives. http://www.goodgriefworks.com Landscape Without Gravity: A Memoir of Grief - Barbara Lazear Ascher younger brother Bobby died from AIDS at age 31, months after he revealed his diagnosis. She does not shy away from sharing her journey and she writes about it breathtakingly. I've recommended this powerful book to other people who agree it has resonated with their own grief process even when the person's death was not AIDS related. The book was first published in c1992 by Delphinium Books and is available used in bookstores such as Powell's in Portland and in a new paperback printing by Penguin Books.  http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,0_9780140234954,00.html   Youth Suicide Prevention Program (YSPP) - Washington state -  envisions a state where youth suicide is a rare event, where young people are nurtured and supported, where individuals and families are aware of risk factors for suicide, and can actively seek help from accessible, effective community resources. To that end, YSPP focuses on public awareness, training, and communities in action. http://www.yspp.org  The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. If you or a friend are feeling lost or alone call The Trevor Helpline. There is hope, there is help. Call 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Dear Trevor - an online, confidential Q&A forum for you to ask non time-sensitive questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity. http://www.thetrevorproject.org/deartrevor.aspx TrevorSpace - an online, social networking community for LGBTQ youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies. Youth can create personal profiles and connect with other young people throughout the country, as well as find resources within their communities. TrevorSpace is carefully monitored by administrators (a mix of helpline counselors and other volunteers of the organization) designated by The Trevor Project to ensure all content is age appropriate, youth-friendly and factual. http://www.trevorspace.org/ The Trevor Helpline is a national 24-hour toll-free suicide prevention hotline aimed at gay or questioning youth. Call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR  (1-866-488-7386) The Trevor Helpline is geared toward helping those in crisis, or anyone wanting information on how to help someone in crisis. All calls are handled by trained counselors, and are free and confidential. http://www.thetrevorproject.org A Public Service Announcement about The Trevor Project by the cast of Queer As Folk, featuring Sharon Gless, Robert Gant, Thea Gill, & Scott Lowell: "I'm Glad I Failed" - The Trevor Project, in conjunction with National Suicide Prevention Week (September 7-13), will launch a powerful new ad campaign "I'm Glad I Failed." This effort targets LGBTQ teens who contemplate suicide as a result of homophobia. The ads feature four young people with stories about how intolerance and harassment led them to attempt suicide, and how glad they are that those attempts failed because their lives have changed for the better. The Trevor Project needs your help to maximize exposure of their ads - here are examples of the ads which are on their site with more variations and information: http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ImGladIFailed/ TREVOR- Set in 1981, this award winning short film by The Trevor Project is told through a series of diary entries, following 13-year-old Trevor, a passionate Diana Ross fan who strives for attention from his parents by frequently faking suicides…to no avail. http://www.thetrevorproject.org/thefilm.aspx 1000 Deaths - A site by S.O.L.O.S. (Survivors of Loved Ones' Suicides) -- "The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand... Why?" They have a lot of support e-mail lists including SOLOS-GBLT "a slight departure from our support group format in that it is for people who have lost a loved one or have loved ones at risk for suicide due to sexual orientation. Suicide is a significant problem, especially among GBLT youth or those confused about their sexual identity. Discussion revolves around prevention issues as well as mutual support." http://www.1000deaths.com alt.support.grief.suicide - A newsgroup for people who have lost somebody to suicide, to offer support to each other and find some support and understanding. The FAQ page is at: http://www.last.dircon.co.uk/asgs/faq.html Alexander John Goodrum - a disabled African-American bisexual FTM transsexual activist, born in 1960 who committed suicide in 2002. He said "Diversity is not for the squeamish. It means making (and taking) a space at the table that includes people you don't like, don't agree with, or who you think are just plain wrong." http://www.sagatucson.org/goodrum/alexander.html The Alexander John Goodrum Transgender Mental Health Advocacy Project - part of the Southern Arizona Gender Alliance (SAGA) in Tucson, AZ - offers individual support, general guidance, and peer-based advocacy for any gender-variant person involved with the public mental health system as a consumer--either on an outpatient or inpatient basis. The project also provides transgender awareness education to staff and service providers, especially those front-line staff who work directly with consumers on a daily basis. http://www.sagatucson.org/goodrum/services.html If You Are A Provider Working With A Transgender Person - from the Alexander John Goodrum Transgender Mental Health Advocacy Project http://www.sagatucson.org/goodrum/providers.html Issues Facing Trans People - from the Alexander John Goodrum Transgender Mental Health Advocacy Project http://www.sagatucson.org/goodrum/issues.html American Association of Suicidology (AAS) - The goal of AAS is to understand and prevent suicide. They accomplish this mission by directing efforts to: * Advance Suicidology as a science; encouraging, developing and disseminating scholarly work in suicidology. * Encourage the development and application of strategies that reduce the incidence and prevalence of suicidal behaviors. * Compile, develop, evaluate and disseminate accurate information about suicidal behaviors to the public. * Foster the highest possible quality of suicide prevention, intervention and postvention to the public. * Publicize official AAS positions on issues of public policy relating to suicide. * Promote research and training in suicidology. The membership of AAS includes mental health and public health professionals, researchers, suicide prevention and crisis intervention centers, school districts, crisis center volunteers, survivors of suicide and a variety of lay persons who have an interest in suicide prevention. http://www.suicidology.org/ The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) - dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide. AFSP engages in the following Five Core Strategies: * Funds scientific research. * Offers educational programs for professionals. * Educates the public about mood disorders and suicide prevention. * Promotes policies and legislation that impact suicide and prevention. * Provides programs and resources for survivors of suicide loss and people with mood disorders, and involves them in the work of the Foundation. http://www.afsp.org Befrienders International - an international organization with excellent information and details of local suicide support services in over 40 countries, translated into seven languages. They have a good online quiz with seven questions on the myths about suicide.   http://www.befrienders.org Being a Parent Left Behind - a powerful letter to any suicidal young person, by Tony Salvatore, father of Paul who committed suicide when he was 28 years old. Tony's "The Suicide Paradigm" is also linked below. http://members.tripod.com/~LifeGard/memo.html Break the Silence (BTS) - a watchdog organization formed because of first-hand knowledge and experience that inpatient safety is not always provided to those in need of protection. "Although we all assume - and have the right to expect - that we and our loved ones will be kept safe while inpatients at hospitals and treatment centers, that is not always the case." http://www.break-the-silence.org/ Bruce - Tribute and Memorial - A Mother's Loss of a Beloved Son to Suicide - March 26, 1971 ~ October 8, 1992. A very personal and heartfelt look at a mother's loss of her beloved son. Roz Michael's shares Bruce's note he left explaining his reason for taking his own life and a moving letter she wrote to him seven years after his death. http://tampabaycoalition.homestead.com/RozBruce.html CRISIS: 40 Stories Revealing the Personal, Social, and Religious Pain and Trauma of Growing Up Gay In America - a book by philanthropist and longtime human rights advocate Mitchell Gold, with unique blend of up-close and personal stories. Chapters include Religious Discrimination, Family and Community Rejection, School and Social Discrimination, In the Workplace, What I Know Now: On Losing a Child, The Sin Question, and Exposé: A Silent Epidemic of Depression, Isolation, and Fear. http://www.crisisbook.org/ Covering Suicide - by Meg Spratt of The Dart Center for Journalism & Trauma. This five part feature is written with a focus on providing information to journalists about covering suicide with understanding and sensitivity. The sections are: Fighting the Stigma; Covering a Community Loss; Reporting Suicide and Finding a Balance; Remembering My Father; and Depression: What Journalists Should Know. Meg Spratt is Associate Director of Academic Programs for the Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma and a lecturer in the Department of Communication at the University of Washington. With more than 20 years experience as a journalist and journalism educator, her research interests include news coverage of tragedy, race and gender, and political communication, with an emphasis on photojournalism. http://dartcenter.org/content/suicide-2 The Culture of Grief - information on communal grief (the "people's princess" is returned to the earth. Why did millions mourn?), grieving - bad grief and good grief., healing - seeking solace, and mourning - a cultural thing.  http://whyfiles.org/048grief/index.html Darkness Calls - this comic book from the Healthy Aboriginal  Network was created to promote Aboriginal health, literacy & wellness. It is inspired, written and illustrated by Steve Sanderson, a professional Aboriginal (native Canadian) youth cartoonist. It is a great resource on suicide prevention for youth, visual learners and hard to reach populations.  It’s the story of a teenager that feels socially isolated and has difficulty at school.  Even though Kyle has tremendous artistic talent and the support of a good friend he finds one day just too overwhelming and considers taking his own life.  It’s the story of the struggle between good and evil over the spirits of youth. The Healthy Aboriginal Network - creates comics on health and social issues for youth. Topics covered are: Youth health issues, Standing Together, Suicide prevention, Darkness Calls, Gambling addiction, On the Turn, Diabetes prevention, An Invited Threat, Staying in school, and Level Up. http://www.thehealthyaboriginal.net/ Deb Lopitz - One of my PFLAG friends who also had a son who committed suicide. http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/9671 Robbie Kirkland - Remember Me - a celebration of the life of our son and a portrayal of his struggle with his sexuality. It is not meant in any way to glamorize suicide. Our hope is that it will be able to help others like him identify and realize they still have hope, and that there are resources and people to help them.  Leslie Sadasivan, Robbie's mom wrote, "On Jan. 2, 1997, my darling 14 year old son, Robbie Kirkland committed suicide after a 4 year struggle to accept and find peace with his homosexuality." http://www.robbiekirkland.com   Hospice - a concept of care designed to provide comfort and support to patients and their families when a life-limiting illness no longer responds to cure-oriented treatments. Hospice care neither prolongs life nor hastens death. Hospice staff and volunteers offer a specialized knowledge of medical care, including pain management. The goal of hospice care is to improve the quality of a patient's last days by offering comfort and dignity. The word "hospice" stems from the Latin word "hospitium" meaning guesthouse. It was originally used to describe a place of shelter for weary and sick travelers returning from religious pilgrimages. http://www.hospicefoundation.org If you are thinking of committing suicide... read this first - This page is not specifically GLBTQ related but it is excellent and it includes resources.  "If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain." http://www.metanoia.org/suicide In Memory of Garth Manheim: 1/15/84 - 7/11/01 - On July 11, 2001, while on vacation on the Adriatic coast of Italy, sixteen year old Garth Manheim took his own life. "We will never know for sure where it all went wrong for Garth, but we had long feared for his future. He seemed ill-equipped for the modern world, a Don Quixote without the benefit of senile delusions to protect him from the harsh blows of finding, over and over again, that he was only doing battle with windmills." http://www.garthmanheim.com JaredsStory.com - Just six days past his 13th birthday, Jared Benjamin High died from depression and suicide due to bullying.  Read about Jared's life and how bullying led to his tragic end. His family sued the Pasco Washington School District and that lawsuit was settled on January 25th, 2003. http://www.JaredStory.com   Jim in Bold - For 19 year old Jim Wheeler, growing up gay in rural Pennsylvania was too much to take and in 1997 he committed suicide. His story is told by his family and friends in this documentary by filmmaker Glenn Holsten in collaboration with Equality Forum and Young Gay America. The film examines the many complicated issues facing gay and lesbian teens, and explores the profound impact of nationally tolerated homophobia in our culture and public schools on GLBT youth.  http://www.jiminbold.com  Prayers for Bobby, A mother’s coming to terms with the suicide of her gay son - Bobby committed suicide in 1983. Leroy Aarons wrote this book  working with his mother Mary Griffith. http://www.harpercollins.com/global_scripts/product_catalog/book_xml.asp?isbn=0062511238  The Root of the Problem - by Jim Spahr (Po) - I am so honored to be able to call Mary Griffith my friend. ... March 24, 2005 - http://www.revjanespahr.org/stories/jim_sr.html Queer Suicide - by Steve who lost his boyfriend Dale to suicide in November, 2000. A place to talk about grief, healing, finding our voice, honoring our journey. http://www.queersuicide.org/ Robbie Kirkland - his mom Leslie  writes, "On Jan. 2, 1997, my darling 14 year old son, Robbie Kirkland committed suicide after a 4 year struggle to accept and find peace with his homosexuality."  Read some of his poems, responses to his suicide from his family and community, and more. http://www.robbiekirkland.com Silent Victims - It is not exactly suicide, but between 500-1000 people, mostly young males, die from auto-erotic asphyxiation (also known as sexual hanging) in the United States each year. I learned about one fifteen year old who died, Justin David Vaughn, and his story and the information it lead me to made me realized how critical it is that we break the silence and shame and educate ourselves and others to save lives. Thanks to families like Justin's and the brother of another AeA victim who created the Silent Victims website, we have some place to start. http://www.silentvictims.org Suicide and Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth by Paul Cody, Ph.D., University of New Hampshire Counseling Center. http://www.unhcc.unh.edu/resources/glbt_suicide.html Suicide Hotlines - not just focused on GLBTQ persons, but a way to look for someone to talk to at a crisis line in your area (US National, Canada, Puerto Rico, and International) with information on what to expect when you call and more. There is also a toll-free nationwide USA number listed at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) 24 hours / 7 days a week. http://suicidehotlines.com The Suicide and Mental Health Association International (SMHAI) - works to prevent suicidal behavior and to relieve its effects on all who maybe affected by it. Promotes and advocates education, awareness and treatment in regards to mental health.  http://suicideandmentalhealthassociationinternational.org  suicide.org - Kevin Caruso's suicide prevention, awareness, and support website is comprehensive and constantly being updated. It includes numerous articles, a large directory of suicide hotlines, FAQs, a free suicide prevention program, an anti-bullying guide, a large directory of suicide support groups, and a myriad of other excellent resources. http://www.suicide.org/ The Suicide Paradigm - This powerful site is for those who have experienced suicide loss and others who want to know more about the reality of suicide and its aftermath. Lots of information on this site by Tony Salvatore whose son Paul committed suicide when he was 28 years old. Tony writes: "I drew some insight from some Pink Floyd lyrics: "the child is gone, the dream is gone..." Part of me had died in more ways than one; something of me as well as my son was forever gone."  http://members.tripod.com/~LifeGard   Memo to Suicidal Young People - RE: Being a Parent Left Behind: http://members.tripod.com/~LifeGard/memo.html  The Vocabulary of Loss: A Glossary of Suicide-related Terminology - also by Tony Salvatore. http://members.tripod.com/~LifeGard/index-2.html  Suicide Prevention Help: The Friendship Letter - by interdisciplinary fine artist of music, art, video and creative writing Kenneth Hemmerick from Montreal, Canada. He survived abuse, depression, and a suicide attempt.  http://www.suicidepreventionhelp.com  Here's an article about Kenneth Hemmerick's work. http://www.kennethhemmerick.com/texts/hemmerick_gazette_article.pdf  The Suicide Prevention Action Network USA (SPAN USA) links the energy of those bereaved or touched by suicide with the expertise of leaders in science, health, business, government and public service to achieve the goal of significantly reducing the national rate of suicide by the year 2010. SPAN USA was founded in 1996 by Gerald and Elsie Weyrauch of Marietta, Georgia, survivors of the suicide of their 34-year-old physician daughter, Terri. Their goal was to create a way for those who have lost someone to suicide to transform their grief into positive action to prevent future tragedies. http://www.spanusa.org  Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) - provides prevention support, training, and resources to assist organizations and individuals to develop suicide prevention programs, interventions and policies, and to advance the National Strategy for Suicide Prevention. SPRC enhances the nation’s mental health infrastructure by providing states, government agencies, private organizations, colleges and universities, and suicide survivor and mental health consumer groups with access to the science and experience that can support their efforts to develop programs, implement interventions, and promote policies to prevent suicide. http://www.sprc.org/ Suicide Risk and Prevention for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth - Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) has released Suicide risk and prevention for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. Written by SPRC staff and reviewed by experts in sexual and gender minority issues, suicide, and suicide prevention, and by youth, this publication addresses the special concerns related to suicide prevention among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth. This paper paper outlines recommendations for helping to reduce suicidal behavior among LGBT youth, and includes a resource appendix and an extensive bibliography. http://www.sprc.org/library/SPRC_LGBT_Youth.pdf (pdf format) Also on the SPRC website: National Strategy for Suicide Prevention (NSSP) - published by U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, under the leadership of the Surgeon General. http://www.sprc.org/library/nssp.pdf (pdf format, published in 2001, 206 pages) Surgeon General's Call to Action to Prevent Suicide - published by U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. http://www.sprc.org/library/surgeoncall.pdf (pdf format, published in 1999, 23 pages) SPRC's Online Library - a searchable collection of resource materials on various topics in suicide, suicide prevention, and mental health. Items are regularly added by professional librarians. Suicide Prevention Through Skilled Suicide Assessment - for mental health professionals, substance abuse counselors, school counselors, primary care physicians, and psychiatric nurses, who are looking for information on the development of suicide prevention skills, crisis intervention skills, and advanced clinical interviewing skills.  http://www.suicideassessment.com Survivors of Someone's Suicide Group - created by Vickie McCluskey who was 19 years old when her mother shot herself, includes "Suicide Survivor's Bill of Rights," stories, poems, questions and answers, and an email support list.  http://www.geocities.com/slickvic_3001/survivors_of_someones_suicide_club_homepage.html TEACH Ministries (To Educate About the Consequences of Homophobia) -  Mary Lou and Bob Wallner lost their lesbian Christian daughter Anna to suicide in February of 1997. They now work to see the church accept and welcome GLBT people. http://www.teach-ministries.org White Ribbon Campaign - Raising Awareness about Gay-Teen Suicide and remembering those who we've lost. http://w-ribbon.tripod.com Youth Suicide Problems - An extensive collection of information related to Gay/Bisexual Male Suicidality by Pierre Tremblay of Calgary, Canada.  http://www.youth-suicide.com/gay-bisexual/