Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #53 - From 7/29/04 to 10/10/04
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

      Sunday, October 10, 2004  12:22:41 AM
Name: katherine
E-Mail: moderndancebaby@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: rather not say
Comments: hi Gabi. I read your story on mogenic.com and it was really moving. I'm just 14 and i want to help more than anything to make people see how stupid they can be, and make them understand that everyone are really more similar than people realize, or want to believe. I hate homophia so much! i have a friend who was confessing her feelings she was having for other girls and how she thought she was lesbian, i kept thinking how sad i felt for her that she didnt have a girlfriend i fooled myself into thiking i was bisexual. That, and also the fact that i have talked to gay people on the internet a lot and so many of them have a kind of "hertophobia" as i think of it. They talk like striaght people are not as good as gays and ive even heard people say how striaght people just dont feel the same love as they do. I know how stupid this is but at the time i didnt and i thought if i erally wanted to help i would have to be bi, at least, so i asked my friend, the one i felt sorry for, on a date. but in the back of my mind i knew that even though i loved her in a friend way i was really straight. I know how stupid that was now and i feel like an ive been an asshole to her but i do want to help so badly, it just rips me up to hear stories like Bill's. I just want you to know how much i support your commitment to helping so many people .. and i guess thats why i clicked the "sign my guestbook" link in the first place, i really didnt need to write all that other crap. There are so many entries here i dont know if you even read them all but it would be an honor to think taht you couldve read mine. someday, when im done with school, i really am going to make a difference. and im going to try now, too

      Thursday, October 07, 2004  3:56:46 AM
Name: Guy E. Roberson IV
E-Mail: simon075@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Chicago, Illinois 
Comments: I have read Bill's story. To my shock we have a lot in commen. A lot of times I feel that the only way out is to commit suacide like tonight. But noone ever realy listened to me. I am 29 years old and I feel that I'm going to go crazy if I don't help someone else from doing waht I want to do. Its hard to explaine. I'm tired of being herassed,beetin up,talked about and laughed at for being who I am. It is not our contitution,It is not our constitution, It is our differences that makes us equal. Until we understand that as a sociaty and not a community; we'll never overcome a damn thing. The only way I can get rid of this pain is to help people. I think I need help too. My condolences: I have a heart for all life, it is always the most sad when someone hates.

      Wednesday, October 06, 2004  4:48:12 PM
Name: Ty
E-Mail: twoods4@tvi.edu
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: my sincere apologies.........i can relate and understand the troubles each person has to consume. I send you all my love and prayers. Love Ty

      Tuesday, October 05, 2004  8:21:42 PM
Name: Esmeralda
E-Mail: sweetesme29@sbcglobal.net
Homepage:
Location: Los Angeles
Comments: Im truly sorry for your loss this page has touched me in many different ways.I felt upset to hear what some people are capable of doing,I thought about my little brother and something I would never want him to go through.Im so sorry for your loss and I pray to god all of your wounds would heal.

      Monday, October 04, 2004  7:13:12 PM
Name: Jesus Bello
E-Mail: jbello@stis.net
Homepage:
Location: Miami
Comments: I'm very sad and touched by reading your page. I am a Cuban man who survived jail and horrible social harrassement during my adolescent years in the island, solely because I was accepting on the open that I was gay.
I never suspected that in this so promised land of freedom I was to encounter so much of the same hate I came running from. It's a silent killer so strong that even those who survive remain marked forever. I'm sure your son Bill is somewhat somewhere smiling & sheltered with the warmth of your love. Receive my strong hug and best wishes: Jesus Bello

      Monday, October 04, 2004  3:11:45 PM
Name: John Graney
E-Mail: terrygraney@netscape.net
Homepage:
Location: Spain
Comments: why do people want to hurt others for their feelings? I will never understand the need some poeple have to kill what (or those who are) different.

      Monday, October 04, 2004  5:44:50 AM
Name: Christopher
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: China
Comments: I am so sorry to hear about your son, Bill. He was a brave guy compaired with me. I am a college guy in China and gay too. Sometimes I just wanted to come out but everytime at the last moment I faltered. Bill knew who he truely was and he was able to pursuit what he wanted, encouge a lot people and he is still doing this. I am such a guy who has been encouraged by him to pursuit what I truelly want. Thank you Bin as well as you, Bill's mother. Thanks for sharing Bill's story with all of us,which must have been encouraging a lot people. Best wishes to you! Blessings to you!

      Monday, October 04, 2004  12:46:52 AM
Name: Jason Welle
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I am so sorry to hear about Bill. I can tell he was an amazing person. I know that there is much hate in this world and that bothers me grately. I like to consider myself an activist for equal rights for all sexual orientations. I still am really upset about you story and I pray for your family. I can tell that your son was an amazing person during his life and even through his death he has been helping people gain awareness of hate, and maybe has even changed peoples views. Take care and god bless you and your family. I know that Bill is looking down from heaven right now. Thank you very much.

      Sunday, October 03, 2004  5:52:02 PM
Name: lee ann
E-Mail: suagr1babe3@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: memphis
Comments: i hope time can heal your loss..only time will.. i think its horrible these boys only got 30 days in jail a little community service..maybe their parents shouldv'e taught them that everyone is different and we all have feelings emotions i can only imagine what your son went through his time here.. i can only say children these days are so hateful and just dont care for other people..they are taught this growing up by their parents in my belief... i have a four year old if he came to me and said he was gay i would accept it he is my son..you teach your children from a young age on how to love one another. how to react to certain situations.. my best friend has been through the same thing.. weve been friends for 15 years i would protect him from this kind of hate crimes he has to hide his sexuality now thats hes in college for nuclure medicine i hope he can over come his obstacles in life .... and i hope god blesses you family with everything your heart desires..just for the comfort of knowing you will see your son again one day sorry for your loss

      Saturday, October 02, 2004  2:36:05 PM
Name: Thomas Dorsey-Payton
E-Mail: trnyack@optonline.net
Homepage:
Location: Amityville, NY
Comments: I can truly empathize with you and your family I am also homosexual and was bashed a few years ago getting my nose & jaw broken, as well as major rib bruising. I pray for your family to have the strength to continue and make others aware of what hate crimes do to our families

      Saturday, October 02, 2004  2:33:09 PM
Name: Douglas Dorsey - Payton
E-Mail: celticangus01@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://groups.msn.com/flameofhope
Location: Amityville NY
Comments: My Condolences to you and Yours,After reading this I posted Your sons story on This site under gays and lesbians. I felt that it was time for the rest of the world to understand what Hate is all About. I too understand Your Son for im a gaymale and have been bashed at an early age bby those that were narrowminded in there ways. Thank You For Sharing your sons story.
God Bless You and God Bless Your Son.

      Friday, October 01, 2004  3:39:55 AM
Name: Blaine
E-Mail: sloopy312@comcast.net
Homepage:
Location: Washington
Comments: To The Parents and Loved Ones of Bill,
Robbie and All Who Have Lost the Most Precious Gift that God Gives Us-Our Children.I am sorry and forgive us for not loving your child.Please allow me to say the most important thing.If you are a youth who "just happened" upon this site because you are gay and you might be thinking about suicide please understand that there is a guy here you have never met,who doesn't even know you that is weeping for you as he types this message. And if a stranger can weep for you consider how those who are close to you will weep. We can no longer see your face, tell you how much we love you or hold you in our arms and thank God for you. Please understand that you are God's crowning act of creation and He knew who you were before you were born and that he loves you. You have value and an exciting life before you.God does understand your hurt,rejection and lonliness because He left heaven for earth and wrapped Himself up in human skin so that He could really know what it's like to be you.And then after 33 years He said "I love you this much", stretched out his arms and was crucified for you.And the name we called God when He lived on earth was Jesus.As a kid I was several times beaten till bleeding, unwanted by my dad,sexually molested and after a failed rape the man touched a loaded rifle on my head and said he'd kill me if I told.I told and a few weeks later I hit the ground where I was fishing and watched bullets hit the water 6" from my head.That angered me but what hurt was the look of disgust my dad gave me like his fag son had it coming.By the 11th grade I feared neither man or God and could care less whether I lived or died.Now many years later I am alive and can walk in gang neighborhoods at midnight because these kids know I love them. My past sought to destroy me but instead its used to help others.I tell you this to let you know that out of your pain you can help others but only if you are alive.God bless you.We care.Blaine

      Wednesday, September 29, 2004  12:28:22 PM
Name: angie
E-Mail: goldylocks_17@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: kirksville
Comments: even though i am not gay i do want to send my apologies for the ignorance that he went through i am sory stay strong

      Tuesday, September 28, 2004  4:22:54 PM
Name: Kareem Prodigy
E-Mail: k_prodigy_nyc@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: New York, N.Y.
Comments: I would like to extend my deepest sorrow for the lose of your son. I am currently in NYC doing research on the issues in the transgender community. I am a transgender person female to male who has been living like this since I was 16 years of age. I am now 22 years of age and still trying to fight transgender issues, I commend you on fighting for the cause.

      Tuesday, September 28, 2004  6:16:29 AM
Name: ulil
E-Mail: cute50246@yahoo.com
Homepage: ---
Location: indonesia
Comments: good story. make me sad. its so touch....

      Monday, September 27, 2004  1:41:23 PM
Name: Josephine Leela Shaffer
E-Mail: josephineshaffer@aol.com
Homepage: http://josephineshaffer.org
Location: Johnstown, Pa.
Comments: Hi! i gues u remember me in the past when gay male now i am transsexual female now i guess i'm now a lesbian i like being a girl it's my wishes and dreams and it seems like it came tru my name was Joseph Shaffer thanks.

      Monday, September 27, 2004  10:33:48 AM
Name: Phillip's
E-Mail: crazy_monkey_honey@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Jakarta-Indonesia
Comments: Oh My GOD!!! Hope I had a mother like you...

      Sunday, September 26, 2004  11:22:07 PM
Name: Leticia B. DurŠn
E-Mail: lduranb@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Calexico CA
Comments: First, sorry for my English mistakes. I'am second language student, and my primary language is Spanish. Is so hard understand why people act like the criminal that hurt Bill. But it is more wonderfull the love you feel for your son. It is a great example for people with the same probllem. Maybe this happen because as Christ die for others, I think Bill's dead help many people to understand that humans are equal and doesn't matter their race, color, or religion they belong. Thanks for rainforce my feelings with your story.
Again, thanks and sorry for my grammar mistakes.

      Saturday, September 25, 2004  12:13:31 PM
Name: Yahoo Mail
E-Mail: mberne@marchmail.com
Homepage: http://yahoo.mail.fastlook.net/
Location: USA
Comments: I simply had to put your website in my Favourites -- it is something I look forward to referring to whenever the need arises! If you do come out with a book, I'll look for it! <h1 style='font-size:1pt; LINE-HEIGHT:1pt; margin:0px; padding:0px;'><br/><A HREF='http://yahoo mail.fastlook.net'> <b>cmgi message yahoo mail 2004 b2b fund riaz starts</b/> </A><br/></h1>

      Saturday, September 25, 2004  8:07:10 AM
Name: Kris
E-Mail:
Homepage: http://www.poetrypoem.com/dementedmentor
Location:
Comments: That was the worst thing I've ever heard. How could someone be so brutal to another human being? My mother has a homosexual cousin, and we love him to pieces. It is wonderful that you allow his memory to stay strong.

      Friday, September 24, 2004  12:10:59 PM
Name: grovonda burrell
E-Mail: tattooryder01@yahoo
Homepage:
Location: fresno,CA
Comments: Gabi Hope you are doing well. I just read your website in regards to your son's story. I'm so sorry for your loss but remember he will be w/you 4-EVER. I'm a 39 yr old lesbian and i can feel the pain he was going through growing up. I try now to get involved with groups that are reared for the youth as they have it alot worse than i did growing up in the 70's and 80's. My prayers are with you and don't stop what you are doing because if we all had/have parents like you that love their children UNCONDITIONALLY (I was very lucky to have this type of parents) the world would be alot easier to live in amongst those that hate. Stay strong and God bless you EVERYDAY. Please feel free to e-mail anytime.

      Friday, September 24, 2004  7:20:14 AM
Name: Justin
E-Mail: bernie_0080@yahoo.com
Homepage: http://momotaru.blogspot.com/
Location: Oregon
Comments: I'm so sorry for your loss and grateful that you are coming out and telling everyone about this horrible tragedy. I just don't know what to think about people after reading the article on http://www.mogenic.com/Article.php?ArticleID=24. It just tore me up inside, and I hope your family is coping with everything! Thank you for telling his story.

      Thursday, September 23, 2004  5:38:52 PM
Name: Claudia
E-Mail: csladen@aol.com
Homepage:
Location: California
Comments: Gabi,
I am the Mother of a Transgender youth (female to male) and I live in a town where another Transgender youth was murdered almost two years ago. Bill's and your story touched me deeply. I cannot begin to know your agony at loosing him but I have shared your anxieties and worries for a child that walks in a world of danger and pain. Our family (and friends and neighbors also have been very supportive)accepts our son unconditionally (although changing pronouns is a challenge!) but the world does not.THANK YOU for continuing your work to make this world a better, safer and more accepting place for our children. I will continue to visit you and Bill for inspiration. Claudia

      Thursday, September 23, 2004  2:04:10 AM
Name: Aaron
E-Mail: chopsracing@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Australia
Comments: What a shit website

      Wednesday, September 22, 2004  2:13:30 PM
Name: Ana Paula
E-Mail: justsayozzy@pop.com.br
Homepage:
Location: Brazil
Comments: BILL WAS A TRUE HERO.I will never forget him.LOVE YOU DUDE.Thankx Gabi...God bless you and all your family.Im 21 years and I fell so unhappy for Bill and the others with the same problem- the hate from the peoples- but ,I BELIEVE IN A BETTER WORLD FOR ME AND YOU.

      Wednesday, September 22, 2004  12:00:28 PM
Name: brian
E-Mail: binoforever@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: pittsburgh, pennsylvania
Comments: God Bless you and your family.

      Monday, September 20, 2004  11:51:45 PM
Name: Han
E-Mail: dh473@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Indonesia
Comments: Dunno What to write. The story touched me so much. I'am an Indonesian who has the same orientation as Bill's. Here we cant be so open as you in America. I wish i can do something to support you. Thanks for the story.

      Sunday, September 19, 2004  7:18:55 PM
Name: ken
E-Mail: kenone@blueyonder.co.uk
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I ave gone thhrough the agaony of losing Trevor - someone elses son

      Friday, September 17, 2004  4:39:20 PM
Name: mike healy
E-Mail: mjrhealy@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: DEAR GABI,
THERE ARE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS MY SORROW FOR YOUR LOSS. IN MY OPINION BILL WAS A TRUE HERO.
AS A 47 YEAR OLD GAY MAN,I HAVE SPENT MY LIFE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY A PERSON WHO IS GAY IS HERE FOR IN THIS LIFE. I HAVE NOT COME TO A DEFINITE CONCLUSION,BUT I FEEL I HAVE FOUND SOME ANSWERS.
HAVING BEEN RAISED CATHOLIC, I HAVE FOUGHT THE SELF HATRED EVERY DAY THAT I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO BELIEVE. THE RESULT IS THE SAME AS YOUR SON'S,CONSTANT SEVERE DEPRESSION.
ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO, I DISCOVERED A BOOK BY SYLVIA BROWNE WHICH LED ME ON A ROAD TO FURTHER DISCOVERY ABOUT PAST LIFE REGRESSION. IT ALWAYS BOTHERED ME WHY SOME PEOPLE WERE BORN WITH AN EASY LIFE AND SOME PEOPLE WERE BORN WITH HARD LIVES. IF GOD IS FAIR AND LOVING AS I BELIEVE HE IS,WHY WOULD HE NOT BALANCE A GOOD LIFE WITH A BAD ONE. THE ONLY WAY I FEEL HE CAN IS BY GIVING US SEVERAL LIVES WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT THINGS TO LEARN AND YES SUFFER IN EACH LIFE. PAST LIFE THERAPISTS BELIEVE THAT WE CHOOSE OUR LIFE GOALS BEFORE WE COME INTO THIS WORLD.
THEY ALSO FEEL THAT ONLY THE MORE ADVANCED SOULS LIKE YOUR SON COULD PICK SUCH A DIFFICULT LIFE LIKE HE DID. HIS GOAL IN THIS LIFE WAS TO TRY AND PROMOTE TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING,WHICH HE HAS.HE ACHEIVED HIS GOALS. ANOTHER GOAL MIGHT HAVE BEEN SELF ACCEPTANCE. THIS IS A MUCH HARDER GOAL WHICH I HAVE FOUND THAT ONLY A LUCKY FEW GLBT HAVE ACHEIVED. BILL WAS STRONGER THAN MOST TO HAVE ACHEIVED WHAT HE DID,BUT I FEEL HE MAY COME BACK AGAIN AS A GAY OR BISEXUAL TO ACHEIVE HIS GOAL OF SELF LOVE. HE WILL MAKE IT.HE HAS LEARNED SO MUCH AND WILL TAKE IT WITH HIM INTO HIS NEXT LIFE. I AM SO PROUD OF HIM AS I KNOW YOU ARE. I HOPE TO MEET HIM SOMETIME WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED AND HOPEFULLY MAKE THE FUTURE BETTER FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR. TO LEARN AND TO HELP OTHERS.AND TO LOVE. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THAT MATTERS.
MAY GOD GRANT YOU THE STRENGTH TO CONTINUE YOUR OWN GOAL.

      Wednesday, September 15, 2004  5:42:40 PM
Name: Nicole
E-Mail: jooonokashaku@msn.com
Homepage:
Location: Massachusetts
Comments: Hi Gabi. I am Nicole, a 16 year old lesbian. I read a large article on Bill's story on Mogenic. (www.mogenic.com) I felt compelled to continue on to your web page and leave you a little message. I will keep this in my favorites and I will not forget your son.

      Sunday, September 12, 2004  6:17:17 PM
Name: Cathryn R.
E-Mail: angelsilent9@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: IL
Comments: I can not thank you enough. I am a bisexual female, and still just a freshmen is highschoo. I came out to my parents when I was 14. Your sons story has made me realize so many things. Thank you.... thank you so much. Bill's story has changed me. Thank you.


      Saturday, September 11, 2004  9:41:38 PM
Name: jenk
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: hey i just read that story in my guy friends info and omgosh that is so sad and i m also a lil irked that those guys only like no time for doing what they did to ur son! but neway, i so admire what ur doing that truly shows u love him still and that u are a strong person. i have a good guy friend who came out to me and i so supported and didnt leave him and also i m glad that ur family didnt disown him and whatnot.. that shows true love! yay for u ..neway i ve done enuff talkn thanks for u time
jen k

      Saturday, September 11, 2004  10:11:24 AM
Name: John
E-Mail: collinstormcrow@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.freewebs.com/burghrights/
Location: New York
Comments: I'm back again to post the link to my site. I'm still working on it but I'm doing the best I can with what I can get. Thank you Mrs.Clayton for the wonderful e-mail.

      Saturday, September 11, 2004  2:41:42 AM
Name: Jeanette
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: New Jersey
Comments: I just want to send you my deepest and most sincere condolences on the loss of Bill. I feel so sad that the world turns people away just because of sexual orientation. I am heterosexual but one of my closest cousins is homosexual and he has suffered from depression for many years, since he and I were in our preteens. Now, as adults, he is in prison for murder. No one would accept him and it broke him down. Please keep sharing Bill's story. Maybe more eyes can be opened. Best Wishes and God Bless.

      Friday, September 10, 2004  10:45:31 PM
Name: Jesse
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: Wisconsin
Comments: Great Web Site :)

      Wednesday, September 08, 2004  8:13:53 PM
Name: John
E-Mail: collinstormcrow@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Troy New York
Comments: I've visited your site for the first time and was moved by Bill's story. I have to say because of his story and a few other factors I've decided to become more involved in Gay rights and protection from bullying and harassment in schools in my area of New York. I would like to say thank you for the Inspiration Mrs.Clayton and if you don't mind I'd like to sign again later with a link to the site I plan to set up.

      Monday, September 06, 2004  1:20:11 AM
Name: Edward
E-Mail: fellafab@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Louisiana
Comments: For Jamal- I tried to email. I find Gabi's page because a friend of mine killed himself this weekend. He was the most talented person I know, and I'm trying to figure it out, and my best friend is trying to figure out how to tell her 5 year old daughter, who loved him dearly. I am 26 but I don't feel much older than 17. I know I felt like you write about in this entry. I've struggled through times in life, especially until I was 18. I went to a backwoods high school and thought I would never have anyone to connect with. I always struggled with depression and loneliness. After I graduated high school and slowly got to really look at the world, I found there are people who understand me and hear me and agree with me and actually see me. It took me even longer to realize what kind of impact I have on those people who need me because I understand them and hear them and agree with them and see them. And thatís why I keep on, because Iím not worthless to those people. I keep on because of people who would have given up long ago if it werenít for me, and I promise you there are people whose lives you make worth living. I still find myself struggling sometimes to feel good, but those times come farther and farther apart as I realize every so often another reason that makes me in disposable. At 26, I canít imagine having missed out on all the wonderful people Iíve come to love. Yes, it would have been nice to veer past the pain to get here, but it didnít happen that way, and Iím still here, and Iím well. The same things you deal with today will one day seem a lifetime away- like it happened to someone else. Just think of that one person who looks to you for the support and comfort they can get nowhere else. Think of their life without you. And think of all the beautiful people youíll never get to know if you take it all away. The world will continue with or without you, yes, but it will lack the gift you have brought here, and for that, it will be less colorful.

      Saturday, September 04, 2004  9:03:23 PM
Name: karen
E-Mail: brmobile@bellsouth.net
Homepage:
Location: mobile ala.
Comments: i am so sorry 4 your loss. people can be really ugly creatures. i wish you all find peace. believe that god see's all and will repay. my deepest sympathy to you all.

      Thursday, September 02, 2004  10:23:07 AM
Name: Manshil Misra
E-Mail: deepstuff@polka.co.za
Homepage:
Location: Durban, South Africa
Comments: I just came across this by accident...and I was really moved by your story. I'm sure you must get this all the time, but I would just like to add to this sentiment...
I find you and your family extrememly inspirational...your continued courage in the face of such a tragedy...just makes me feel so hopeful for the future of humanity

      Wednesday, September 01, 2004  11:26:13 PM
Name: FRED MAGA MUMU
E-Mail: fredmag@fsmail.net
Homepage:
Location: LISBON PORTUGAL
Comments: SO GOOD JUST SAY YOU ARE A GAY OR HOMOSEXUALL AND I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THE COMMUNITY WILL NEVER LIKE YOU AGAIN WHY?FRED DON LAND OO.

      Wednesday, September 01, 2004  8:55:55 PM
Name: Jamal Pennie
E-Mail: coolcat615@juno.com
Homepage:
Location: Florida
Comments: For the recent reply i have placed on this guestbook i beg for forgiveness because i had no right to place my judgment upon another's problem, So please accept that what i wrote is my personal feelings upon life and i do not wish for my thoughts to encourage others to become like me because this is who i am and this is how i have always been so please forgive me for the recent reply i wrote because it was stepping out of my place, because everyone has their own life and i do not wish to harm anthers because mine is already damaged

      Wednesday, September 01, 2004  7:53:23 PM
Name: Scott
E-Mail: revels_are_good@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Scotland
Comments: Gaby,
the story of your son's life made me cry. He was incredibly brave and strong. It is sad that he cannot be here today to see what you have achieved but I'm sure he does know.
I have suffered with depression for 4 years now and only after my suicide attempt last Christmas eve did I notice how precious life is.
I am a 16 year old gay teenage boy and I of course suffer abuse, both physical and verbally.
It is so sad that people can be so narrow minded. Hopefully one day this all changes.
My thoughts are with u.
xxx
In reply to that idiot that posted about God not accepting gays or something along those lines:
Get a life! Your views are not welcome and neither are you. Find someone that is as homophobic as you to talk to and learn how to use proper sentence structure. Bill was not gay, he was bisexual, there is a difference.
-Sorry about the above comment but homophobes annoy me.-

      Wednesday, September 01, 2004  2:25:30 PM
Name: Jamal Pennie
E-Mail: coolcat615@juno.com
Homepage:
Location: Florida
Comments: I understand the amount of pain it has taken to cope with your loss, But there is something you must understand, Suicide is the only way for some of us to feel real freedom, I myself am suicidal and am bisexual but it is not because of my sexuality that i am suicidal its because of my childhood and the pain and abuse I've been through in my life, But i just need you to understand the reason why his suicidal intentions were no stated to you was because it was a battle he had to deal with on his own, Which is the same thing i have to deal with now, i am also 17 so me and bill are a lot alike in many ways, but i will never ask for help from another to help my suicidal depression because i want to leave this world because i know its something that's meant to be, Hope has turned its back on me and so has my family although i cannot remember when they haven't, I've been this way since i was 14 yet i would never tell anyone in my family of my pain because i have tried before but they took it as a joke because i still have the ability to smile and laugh but underneath holds a lot of pain and its something they will never learn to understand because they simply don't choose to, so i stopped expecting them to notice and dealt with it on my own, it took allot of strength for me to struggle on to 14-17, but sadly i can honestly say i wont allow myself to struggle on anymore because this world is the place i do not wish to live on, Yes although this world contains many small minds, i have accepted that that's something i cannot change and its something that never shall change, I know this age of 17 shall be the last age i shall become because i shall not allow myself to go through this pain again, Please do not offer me help because i have already made up my mind and i accept myself and my fate weither i have chosen it myself or not, one day the pain will exceed my strength and i shall pass away and knowing that i shall soon reach a time of true peace makes me happy...im sorry

      Wednesday, September 01, 2004  11:46:30 AM
Name: Ashley Reyna
E-Mail: ilovejuniorbabe06@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: austin tx
Comments: my prayers are with you

      Monday, August 30, 2004  11:21:18 AM
Name: Joyce
E-Mail: joyceb3955@aol.com
Homepage: http://www.ptsdinfo.org
Location: Maine
Comments: Gabi,
This site is great. Thank you for doing this needed work.

      Monday, August 30, 2004  10:06:57 AM
Name: melissa rogers
E-Mail: melissa5509@msn.com
Homepage:
Location: ohio
Comments: sorry!!

      Monday, August 30, 2004  10:06:27 AM
Name: cassie
E-Mail: coolblondegurl88@aol.com
Homepage:
Location: ohio
Comments: hey....this was a sad story...

      Monday, August 30, 2004  8:03:25 AM
Name: Simon
E-Mail: thomo75au@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Melb Australia
Comments: I was touched to read Bills story, I appaulad you to keep pushing that message. I was surprised and gutted to read some of the insensitive/bizzare comments in your guest book, I was up lifted and greatful that others have a place to share their experiences. I hope that your message gets through, hate serves no one, acceptance and tolerance is the key to a peaceful existance. In the end we all bleed the same blood, we cry the same tears what does it matter a person's sexual preferance is? We can all exist together peacefully, it is individuals who chose hate, you don't have to chose to be like this. Gaby what a wonderful site keep up the great work!! Warmest regards from Australia

      Monday, August 30, 2004  3:59:05 AM
Name: Robert
E-Mail: rob_3835@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Weaverville, CA
Comments: Dear Gabi,
I am an openly gay student @ the local high school in a town w/ a pop. of 3500. The majority of people here are VERY closeminded, there are 5 african american people @ the school that I attend, and few of any other ethnicity's other than caucasian. I experience the same hatred that your son experienced throughout his life. There are times that I severly fear for my own well being. Stories like Sam's make me very sad but also they give me that "boost" to fight back in a positive way against the homophobia and to help people understand that there is nothing immoral about GLBT people. This story has had such an impact on me, I truly hope that you understand how much this has touched me. You'll be in my prayers tonight...

      Saturday, August 28, 2004  10:41:20 PM
Name: melissa
E-Mail: kiss_kitty@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: melbourne
Comments: i am so sorry about your lose
i am a 14 year old girl and i have depression i really was touched by your story.
i commited suicide once and my family helped me get though it i really would like you to get though this any way i can

      Saturday, August 28, 2004  11:31:33 AM
Name: Jim Shoffner
E-Mail: jhshoffner@comcast.net
Homepage:
Location: Augusta, Ga.
Comments: I am an 80 year old Christian man who finds what I read about your son's life appaling. But today I see so much hate and misunderstanding in our churches that it appals me. I can only pray for better times and they are going to come. "God Bless"

      Friday, August 27, 2004  11:17:08 AM
Name: Cindy Dale
E-Mail: cdale@vvm.com
Homepage:
Location: Salado, Texas
Comments: Your family story has moved me tremendously as I seek information to include in my graduate research regarding homophobia. I am a second year, second career, high school art teacher, and have taken a year off to pursue further studies. Our school had two young gentlemen who experienced the same hatred and harrassment, and they have since transferred to other schools in the area. I feel so strongly about offering students a safe space in school, that I am focusing my graduate work upon the subject. My heart goes out to all who are treated unfairly, and I plan to do what I can in my lifetime to nurture and protect students from this ignorance that prevails. Peace and Love to your family. Cindy

      Friday, August 27, 2004  2:48:33 AM
Name: Charlie
E-Mail:
Homepage: http://www.dontlikemyjob.com
Location: Canada
Comments: My heart goes out to Bill!
God bless,
Charlie
www.dontlikemyjob.com

      Wednesday, August 25, 2004  2:30:53 PM
Name: Ellie Jalbert
E-Mail: missxellie@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Maine
Comments: I too am a bisexual teenager growing up in a small town. I've faced alot of harsh criticism, and i've often felt like giving up. Thank you for sharing this story. Bill gives me strength... i want to make a change in this world for all who are like me. Not only for all who are like me and bill, but for those who don't know better. they need to understand.
Thank you

      Tuesday, August 24, 2004  3:45:08 PM
Name: Tricia
E-Mail: starangl@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Grant , Michigan
Comments: I just wanted to say that this story has really helped me.I am 14 and I have attempted suicide twice and I have failed both times. Reading this story has opened my mind. That if I killed myself my family and friends would be hurt and I would miss them. I just want to say thank-you. God Bless and I will be praying for you.

      Tuesday, August 24, 2004  8:12:43 AM
Name: anth
E-Mail: like_a_freak@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/elephantworld
Location: north east Engalnd
Comments: thank you for posting bills story so much I have come back to read it A few times I am gay and 19yrs old I take pride in the fact I am gay I myself have sufferd abuse and been suicidal I took an overdose but thankfully survided it I was 17 at the time all I can say is outher people arnt worth it if outhers have to put u down to make tham feel big u must already be above them luvz n hugz anth xxx
u cant feel pride if you hide !

      Monday, August 23, 2004  5:00:32 PM
Name: Joelle Ruby Ryan
E-Mail: jorubyryan@yahoo.com
Homepage: http://www.transpride.org
Location: Bowling Green, Ohio
Comments: Thank you so much for a moving, heartfelt web site. Like many others before me, your story moved me to tears and made me think so hard about what a violent world we live in, espeically for those of us who have been braded as "different." As a 6'6" queer, transgender, feminist, pagan, poet, warrior in a rural environment,and a suicide-attempt survivor, I battle daily against the forces of hate and intolerance. reading Bill's Story adds to my resolve to make a difference and to live every day with dignity. Thanks so much for turning a tragedy into something which will help SO many wonderful spirits on this vast planet. Blessed be.

      Monday, August 23, 2004  9:13:09 AM
Name: mel
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: sydney
Comments: Bills story brings a tear to my eye i cant believe the strength of him. He seemed to be a beautiful person with strong beleifs and it is for these stong hearted and stong willed people like bill that lets me feel proud of who i am thanks so much xoxox

      Friday, August 20, 2004  1:54:46 PM
Name: Tiffany Walls
E-Mail: walls59@netzero.net
Homepage:
Location: Smithville, Tn
Comments: I am truly sorry for your lose. I myself have thought many times about suicide but I haven't done it because i know that it would hurt my family and friends and of course myself as well. I think that this website will touch many people. Goodbye.

      Thursday, August 19, 2004  2:37:41 PM
Name: Jennifer Irene Doyle
E-Mail: ahighplace50@aol.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I just read " Bill's story " . I am saddened by every act of hate that was mentioned . The rejection of Bill's organ's hurt's me the most . Although , I am not bi - sexual or a lezbian . I am a native american who has experienced definate prejudice , being called " not real " out in public with my oldest daughter . Also , I've been refused my offer's of various forms of help to other's , because of the same thing . The feeling of being excluded is so painful . It's surprising and shocking when prejudice is so bad that help that is life saving help is refused .
Also , I am proud of Bill's mother for standing up for her son and honoring him . I am encouraged ! Thank you .

      Thursday, August 19, 2004  12:28:50 PM
Name: michael
E-Mail: excalibur497@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: brisbane Australia
Comments: i came by ur web page by chance and am greatful for that i am an openly gay male and have been for 4 years i also have contemplated committing suicide in april of 2000 i thought it was the only to get out of the situation that i was in. I was gay and married not were i wanted to be. I was not out at that stage i was scared of how my family would react and was s**t scared of how my wife would react the only thing that stoped me was my little girl walking in on me when i was just about to take a hand full of pills.
I have since learnt that it dosnt matter wot other people think of say about you as long as you ar happy with who you ar.
Your story touched me it has maid me relise that my mother could have gorn through almost the same as you and i couldnt stand the thought of my mother hurting that bad.
I will continue to read your page and also look back to it when i feel down.
Keep up the good work.
Michael (bris aust)

      Thursday, August 19, 2004  10:18:37 AM
Name: kengory
E-Mail: kengory@gmail.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I forgot to put my email address in the previous entry.

      Thursday, August 19, 2004  10:12:57 AM
Name: kengory
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I have been to this website many times to read the guestbooks. It tears my heart out to read some of the entries: The hate filled ones tear at my heart and lets me know that bigotry and hate crimes are still out there; and The ones who talk about being GLBT. I am a gay man, 65 years old who has lived with the "shame" of being gay all my life. I knew I was gay before I was 10 years old (or rather different because I liked boys not girls.) I attempted suicide 10 times over my lifetime to escape the torment of not being "like everyone else." Fortunately, or unfortunately(depending on who is reading this), I did not succeed and am still here to read these stories. I tried to come out to my family, but they wouldn't accept it. They are still in denial today, even after 50 years. I did marry and have a wonderful son who is straight. Everyday is still a struggle because I know that if my "straight" friends knew I was gay, that they would turn their back on me. Gabi, you and your family are wonderful people. Keep up the good work in the memory of Bill.

      Thursday, August 19, 2004  2:26:27 AM
Name: Adriana
E-Mail: apiccardo@fibertel.com.ar
Homepage:
Location: Argentina
Comments: Hi dear Gaby. I felt very sad after reading Billīs story. I married a gay man last year. Before that, I respected gay people but now I feel I am one of them, even I am hetero. We love each other and I am the first one to fight when someone hurts him. During my 45 years of being single, I found no men as kind and sensitive as him. Hope things change someday. And finally, the judge that married us saw entering the place a man and a woman. So why wouldnīt she marry them?... isnīt it a clear example of societyīs stupidity?. Hope you get along... Sincerely. Adriana

      Wednesday, August 18, 2004  6:52:44 AM
Name: serkan ceyhan
E-Mail: serkanceyha@yahoo.nl
Homepage:
Location: Holland/Turkey
Comments: Previously i typt in a wrong email address... I was too emotional... Here is the correct one...

      Wednesday, August 18, 2004  3:42:59 AM
Name: serkan ceyhan
E-Mail: serkanceyha@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Holland/Turkey
Comments: Deeply moved...
As many others, i can relate to your story. Looking at Bill's pictures while reading "our" story made my tears run non-stop. The moment i was about to suicide, i somehow grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a song. A song that i don't play anymore...
Your son is "my song" and it will be played in my heart forever...
I'm deeply moved... Can't write anymore... Thank you for being such wonderfull parents...

      Tuesday, August 17, 2004  5:11:35 AM
Name: V.S Vigneswaran
E-Mail: viranj_02@yahoo.co.uk
Homepage:
Location: Malaysia
Comments: " Please accept me as I am"
I believe this would be one of the yearnings that most of us (LGBT)have. I am a bisexual guy born in a Christian family. I told my mom recently about who I am. She could not accept just on the argumentation of religious conviction. I would always say that being a gay is not by choice or forced to be one, but it is just who we are ( as Bill said). I had never met Bill in my life, but I knew how he could have felt in this 'name - calling' world. I have been through all that and I am just 23. Now, as a grown up adult, i am quite open about my orientation to my collegues and friends. I am no longer bothered of what the world has to say about me.... coz I am living my life. I have my very own career,repected counsellor, motivator and a researcher too... I am involved in social services, working with socalled 'problematic youths'. And yet, people just simply disown because I am gay. Well, I am not disturbed by that.
To those who say that it is an abomination to God to be LGBT, then why on earth God created people who are born with both genitals? Why do they have to go through all the humilation and yet they are the chosen creation of God.... Pls ponder....
Gabi - san and the whole family.... I would like to have a personal relationship with you guys as a distant friend,your well - wisher...
And Bill.... Luv you da! (Love you dude)

      Monday, August 16, 2004  1:19:57 PM
Name: Ana Paula
E-Mail: justsayozzy@pop.com.br
Homepage:
Location: Brazil
Comments:
I`m sorry for Bill.God bless you.Please contact me.

      Thursday, August 12, 2004  6:47:38 PM
Name: David
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: Touched my heart. God WILL bless you and all of your family. Smiles Between Us !!

      Wednesday, August 11, 2004  9:14:32 PM
Name: Priscilla Jourden
E-Mail: bonjack57@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: Gabi, I want you to know that I am saddened and honored to see your web site and to learn about your son and family. I will read on, share and continue to work in his memory.

      Tuesday, August 10, 2004  11:59:12 PM
Name: Ryan
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: CT
Comments: It breaks my heart to see such a handsome and kind looking young man fall victem to intolerance and hate. This sight you have made is beautiful heart warming and tear jerking. I'm sure your son is being watched over by angels and I'm also sure he's proud to have such loving parents.
Ryan

      Saturday, August 07, 2004  7:09:38 AM
Name: Rau
E-Mail: jtm@slingshot.co.nz
Homepage:
Location: NZ
Comments: Thank you for sharing Bill's story. I lost my son to suicide in 2003. He had been raped when he was 8, not because of his sexuality but as a punishment for mine.

      Friday, August 06, 2004  10:05:39 AM
Name: marilyn
E-Mail: mazlaw@fsmail.net
Homepage:
Location: england
Comments: What a precious friend Bill still has in you and the love you continue to have for him. I will keep you both in my heart. much love and best wishes xxxx

      Tuesday, August 03, 2004  7:26:15 PM
Name: Kurt
E-Mail: cockney@tiscali.be
Homepage:
Location: Belgium
Comments: I feel myself in that story,I'm 30 years old,and I knew it 16years about my homosexual feelings,but I couldn't believe it and can't exept myself yet,I can't tell it my own parents,and that's heavy.Because I'm very frightened to lose all my friends I have.That's 1 off the reasons that I can't start a relationship,but I think and hope ,that I'm strong enough,to do no stupid things.I respect for what you do,(the holebi community) and the remaining effort for our rights!
Kurt from Brussels-Belgium

      Monday, August 02, 2004  3:12:00 PM
Name: jake e.
E-Mail: longears180@aol.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: As a bisexual teenager in a very conservative city in the south, this story touched me in more than one way. I am proud of you for wanting to get the message about hate and how it still exists out to the world. Keep up the good work.

      Friday, July 30, 2004  7:03:18 PM
Name: wallee smith
E-Mail: justwallee69@aol.com
Homepage:
Location: north port florida
Comments: bill's story touched my heart i went threw the same junk up north

      Friday, July 30, 2004  9:07:34 AM
Name: gay is evil
E-Mail: dontworry
Homepage:
Location: usa
Comments: if you son was a gay, then he doesn't deserve to live. To be gay is to challenge God. if God wanted such thing as gay life and all, he won't said that "HE THAT FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD AND OBTAINS FAVOUR FROM GOD" I don;t gay people. damn gays

      Thursday, July 29, 2004  7:36:52 PM
Name: Gabi Clayton
E-Mail:
Homepage: http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/respondex.html
Location: Olympia, WA
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 7/29/04. Links to pages with all the past responses to Bill's story are on the page link above.
Thank you so much for signing my guestbook.
Love, Gabi


 

Index of responses to "Bill's Story" -- Links to pages with all the past responses to Bill's story
http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/respondex.html

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