Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #48 - From 11/5/03 to 12/20/03
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi


 

Thursday, December 11, 2003  3:17:42 PM
Name: amanda
E-Mail: van_aken85@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Redding, Ca
Comments: I know that it is hard to lose someone so precious to you i have to and my BEST girl and guy friends are gay and i had really only heard of the Matthew Shepard case and when i read the case of Gabi Clayton i was in tears and now I am starting to work with the gay community and showing all the other people that its ok they are just like us!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2003  3:17:42 PM
Name: Shannon
E-Mail: van_aken85@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Neversink
Comments: im sorry to hear about your son. i no its hard to lose a love one. But it was problemly harder on him to let u no of his sexualiy i no i did not tell my dad yet but my mom nos

      Tuesday, December 09, 2003  3:27:20 PM
Name: sasha
E-Mail: anneliesa15@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: texas
Comments: I'm doing a debate in my speech class over gay rights. I've read alot of personal stories and so many of them are the same.{no offense,please] It seems that the children are coming out with their homesexuality and are being persicuted for it. I believe that there should be stronger hate crime laws. Yet, in the beginning of Bill's story it seems insinuated that he was taken advantage of at a place where you thought he was safe and in return was greatly traumatized. I'm a 16yr old female and my greatest fear is that with all of this gay movement and forcing us to learn and accept it you will have teenagers questioning themselves and many will find themselves in situations likes your son did. I just wish that everyone would look at the entire picture and that EVERYONE not be so biased and really consider the dier consequences of everything.

      Tuesday, December 09, 2003  10:10:50 AM
Name: Selena Morris
E-Mail: girlsforscience@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Soldotna, AK
Comments: I was glad to find Bill on this website. I came across it accidentally. I went to highschool with Noel, and came to know Bill when he approached me in our art teacher's room one day. We talked a little. He stopped me after class, and was going to say something. I smiled, and then he stopped, and didn't continue. I've always wondered what he was going to say, but being shy I never asked. This didn't stop me from admireing him, however. He used to make these hats that I thought were wonderful, and I liked how creative he was. He was in my heart from that moment on. We went to a school that wasn't a pioneer in valueing differences. Those years were hard, and I don't miss them. When I was getting coffee one morning as a young adult, I saw a flyer for Bill's passing. I was shocked, and upset. It's hard to explain, but I cared deeply for him and how he was doing. Bill, his brother, and his friends were wonderful people I have plenty of good feelings about and memories. I cried a long time that day. I've never forgotten him, and I share his story with others. Thankyou for posting a website in memory to him. He was special, and it was nice to see his picture. I know where to come now when I need a moment.

      Monday, December 08, 2003  12:18:53 AM
Name: +Benedict XVI, OSB
E-Mail: cittiavaticano@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: California
Comments: I'm touched...and deeply committed to help this cause in my own community, I vowed 6 months ago after being hurt by someone i cared for on grounds of 'christianity' to help rid our society of homophobia, im a Christian and i also try and spread the fact that homophobia isnt Christian, and that God himself doesnt care of sexuality but of Us, we are His children and He sent His son to forgive our sins, not our sexual selves. im a christian, and also gay. may God bless you always. please contact me and ill do everything i can to spread Bills story here in my community.

      Saturday, December 06, 2003  9:25:53 PM
Name: novata jones
E-Mail: marionsamani@aol.com
Homepage:
Location: philadelphia pa,
Comments: I am sorry for your lost

      Friday, December 05, 2003  2:54:26 PM
Name: Bobbie
E-Mail: bjk451@aol.com
Homepage:
Location: Norfolk, VA
Comments: Hello. I came along Bill's story looking for information on a research paper on hate crimes against homosexuals. This story really touched me i am deeply sorry you lost your son. i thank you for putting this out to the public to notice what is going on in the world when no one is looking.

      Thursday, December 04, 2003  8:51:07 PM
Name: spike smith
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: hello to all. i read this story after a suicidal gay friend of mine was put back in the hospital. i'd like to thank the parents of bill for creating this website, it really did help the coping prcess for me. i send condolences to them and to all people who have had sucicidal friends. thanks again for creating this site and just a reminder, to the gays out there, don't be afraid to let people know. we are who we are. thanks, spike smith

      Wednesday, December 03, 2003  1:43:35 PM
Name: Louise
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Comments: I'm a friend of Tyrone Tidwell (who signed this below).I was putting his name into Yahoo to see what it came up with(I'm stalking you Tyrone!..actually I'm just bored in work) and one of the things was this.Besides being an impressive website,there's a lot of determination,thought,hard work,courage and love gone into this.Not everybody would use such a tragic incident and turn it into something from which some good may come.Bill may never come back in person,but I guarantee he's looking down smiling,thinking you did something really good.Because you did.He's proud of you.This is what he would have wanted.Well done.

      Wednesday, December 03, 2003  1:25:03 PM
Name: Lisa Morgan
E-Mail: toolsmagdalena@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Indiana
Comments: Wow... I'm so sorry to hear that such horrible things led your sun to do that. It's such a tragedy that something like that can happen to someone so young that has so much ahead of them and has the ambitions to do so many things with their life. As a bisexual female in a small town I am forced to deal with comments all day. But I've taught myself not to let it get to me and after reading your story I have the strength to keep going. Thank you so much for sharing.

      Wednesday, December 03, 2003  12:36:27 AM
Name: Cameron Carson
E-Mail: znypenguin@netscape.net
Homepage:
Location: Hawaii
Comments: hi, my name is Cameron. i am a gay male from hawaii.i very much feel for what happened. the story is moving and will make alot of people think. what happened to your son wasnt called for, i myself have been discriminated against, beaten up, called names... i used to speak with a counselor about all of it...im doing my best to help my friend that are homosexual, or bisexual that need to talk to someone. i've tried to commit suicide, i was almost raped my one of my neighbors, it was Xmas of '99. i've never told anyone the truth about what happened...
(no one knew about my sexuality)
in the eigth grade, i made a presentation about being homosexual, it was my "coming out" to everyone. my presentation was over two hours long, all-though i couldnt say the entire thing because school ended 90mins into my presentation. from then..after the bell had rung i quickly ended what i was saying...i got high-fives and loud cheering and clapping from everyone in the room. they respected what i did. other people had heard about what i did, and some made rude comments to me at school, i had support of friends and counselors...now, it's been about 2 1/2 years since i came out, and i still have alot of support from people...
i very much wanted to say God bless you, you are very strong people...what happened to your son, will not be forgotten. your family is forever in my prayers. Angels, (your son) will be with you always. he is your guardian angel now. and thankyou for letting me share this letter/note with you. im here for constant support. feel free to email me.
God Bless,
Cameron Carson, age 15 Hawaii

      Tuesday, December 02, 2003  12:47:27 PM
Name: W. Julian South
E-Mail: wmjgas59@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Portland OR
Comments: It breaks my heart to hear that anyone has to loose his or her child. To loose that child to depression (which as you know is anger turned inward) is profoundly devastating. I havenít read all the documents available, but you donít really mention how you and your husband Alec are holding up. It would be a great injustice if you two lost each other because of what happened with Bill.
I too was a depressed bi kid. I too got beat up on a regular basis (and told by virtually everyone I should ďget used to itĒ). But an odd thing happened. I grew up, moved to a big city and got therapy and a really good drug regimen. Iím now as well adjusted as a person can be when that person lives in this kind of a world. I go through long bursts of activism followed by more introspection.
Iíve changed how I view myself. First I was bi, then gay, and then bi again. Now I realize I really love both genders but will probably never really be happy in a long-term relationship with a woman. I had the good fortune to have a son, but he died a long time ago. I often wonder what his life would have been like. Probably like you agonizing about how Bill would be these days. What heíd be doing. I completely sympathize.
Another way Iíve changed my view of myself is, I no longer see myself as broken. I have been forced by the things Iíve gone through (sexual abuse, rape while in the military, etc.) to react differently than most folks would to everyday stimuli. But I am not broken. I only wish Bill could have seen that coping is better than dying.
I understand getting tired. I really know the feeling that things will never get better. But if heíd given life a chance, it would have gotten better. His leaving you saddens me, and leaving such a huge pain on your doorstep I wish would end. As a good Jewish man I cannot help but add:
You are in my prayers. May G*d bless you and all your family. May you find a measure of peace in this troubled time.

      Monday, December 01, 2003  5:15:27 AM
Name: Ryan
E-Mail: rpmarchand@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: Hey this is the sadest story but im sure you get that alot. And there are many people in your shoe's your not alone. I cried to read this story and had to stop and get a tissue every minute but thats not the point :)and silly me i was also listening to sad music at the time :). I really dont know what to say im scared if i say something stupid. But i also came out to my mother a little while ago, im also bisexual. She still love's me but im sure she hates the idea of it but im ok with that. Dont get me wrong she is the most loven person i know as im sure you are and were. She still calls me a little rascal at 18 :). I love what your doing and am so proud of you. You seem so strong This must sound so stupid, i cant really write or type so if theres typos just ignore them :). Ya bill had some courage telling people i dont know if i could or ever tell anyone else then my mother i dont really have very close freinds like bill im not very good at makeing freinds. But that enough about me jess did that sound shallow or what im was talking about myself half the time god. Ok i better go before i make more of an ass of myself well email me id love it..
PS: Keep up the swesome work

      Friday, November 28, 2003  2:37:30 PM
Name: Adam
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: I have something to say to all you homophobic pricks out there who say that it is wrong to love. I tell you right now I would love to see something like that happen to you so you can see the pain that we go through. I am an openly gay man and I can't stand you people. Homophobes are pathetic. I am sorry to hear about what happend to bill and it made me cry the whole way through. Please continue your work as I believe it makes the LGBT community as a whole proud. I have very understanding parents as well and I am glad that he did also. I hope that one day we can rid the world of homophobes but I don't see that happening in the near future. Keep up the good fight.

      Monday, November 24, 2003  7:08:51 PM
Name: vanessa vargas
E-Mail: consaboratequila@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: los angeles, ca
Comments: Hello , my name is VAnessa . I was researching about teenager suicide for my speech class and let me tell you why I am writing to you right now. I entered www.1000deaths.com and from those 1000 i chose bill's picture cuz i thouht he was cute and your story touched my heart . My speech is due today . I am not ready but I am sure I will talk about your son's death ok? because I have a brother who is gay and I wouldnt stand people mess with him . I am so proud of your work , i love the web page . Keep working on it , your son will appreciate it . Take care and if you can respond to me that would be cool I just wanna know the end of your story . How did you get over it ? If you could , but i know it could be impossible . ANyway please write back . Thanks for sharing your son's memories to us . God Bless You ok ?

      Sunday, November 23, 2003  10:42:21 PM
Name: Janice Middleton
E-Mail: janice5202@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Wichita, Ks.
Comments: The world lost a very bright light with the death of Bill. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

      Saturday, November 22, 2003  4:43:03 AM
Name: jw tahoe
E-Mail: jw_tahoe@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: slidell, louisiana
Comments: Gabi,
You and Alec have suffered the worst loss that anyone can ever suffer and for the worst reason. I can't fully comprehend the depth of your pain and anger but to the extent that I do understand it, I share it with you. All of us are diminished by Bill's death.
When I read and reread Bill's story today I was again horrified like I thought any decent person must be even though I had already read it several months ago. For the first time, I read the guest book comments and saw among the condolences, virulent entries from Christian Terrorists continuing to spew the same kind of hateful venom that drove Bill past his limit. That they would come here to desecrate this site proves how evil they are. I wish we could just dismiss them as kooks and cranks, but we know that their hate will continue, their attacks will continue and their victims will continue to suffer in many ways for many years. I can't understand how such hatefilled hearts can survive their own evil.
Thank you for maintaining this memorial to Bill so that others can learn from it. May you and all who mourn Bill find peace.
jw

      Friday, November 21, 2003  2:44:15 PM
Name: Ashley
E-Mail: ageary_444@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Forestville, ny
Comments: I LOVE YOu

      Thursday, November 20, 2003  8:50:45 PM
Name: Kim Gray
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: This touched my heart in so many ways. I hope that one day nobody will be afraid to walk the streets. Thank you for sharing this story with me and the rest of the world.

      Wednesday, November 19, 2003  8:22:33 PM
Name: gabi bahnam
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: hey i am very sorry to here what happend i think he is kinda cute there but he will be missed here so i hope you have the best of luck and i know how it is to loose a loved one i just lost my mom and im only thirteen i lost her of cancer in three places she past away 10/9/03
love alway

gabrielle

      Tuesday, November 18, 2003  9:27:20 AM
Name: Jennifer
E-Mail: jeffbuckleyrules@msn.com
Homepage:
Location: Canada
Comments:
Gabby,
when i read this, my eyes water'd so much, its aweful to hear about someone that has been treated so badly at such a young age and older for there sexuality or for the way the look.. etc, it Just makes me so sick and feel ill inside, i think ur an amazing women for wat you have delt with and wat you have done to keep ur sons memory alive...
keep fighting!


      Tuesday, November 18, 2003  7:17:22 AM
Name: San Wages
E-Mail: twospirit22000@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: N.E.Texas
Comments: A sight well done.I feel for your loss, & the loss of the community.And I thank you for the work you have done with this sight. God bless you.

      Monday, November 17, 2003  2:12:05 PM
Name: BOb
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: california
Comments: YEAH, the phony George is right! Gays are sick man. But I feel bad for Bill. the guy posting all those messages was a little extreme, but he is right too!

      Monday, November 17, 2003  2:09:47 PM
Name: George W. Bush
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: Washington D.C.
Comments: FELLOW AMERICANS. WHAT GABI IS DOING IS DISGUSTING. BILL DESERVED TO DIE!!! WHOEVER POSTED THOSE MESSAGES WAS A LEADER AND A BRAVE AMERICAN. WE MUST RISE UP. FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!! GOD ALLMIGHTY WE IS FREE AT LAST!

      Sunday, November 16, 2003  7:43:16 PM
Name: Tamara Parten
E-Mail: i_luv_tinkerbell2@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: Gabi,
You recently came to Olympia High School to speak for our STAND assembly. I just really wanted to thank you again for doing that for us. I am also extremely sorry for how insensitve the youth are today. Thanks you so much and just remebr to stay strong.
Sincerly,
Tamara Parten
Olympia High School STAND Member

      Sunday, November 16, 2003  3:39:17 PM
Name: Jack
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location: SOUTH AFRICA
Comments: You are a very brave lady , and I thank you for what you are doing for the gay people of this world. You will think by the sound of it that it is only homosexual people that can contract HIV, but hey its time they face the facts. 600 people dies everyday in South Africa alone due to Hiv , and they are NOT all homosexual.

      Friday, November 14, 2003  1:27:01 AM
Name: Catherine Dawdy
E-Mail: cmdawdy@comcast.net
Homepage:
Location: Olympia, WA
Comments: After all these years, I thought -- for no other reason than I love you more than ever my dear friend -- I would sign your guest book and let you know that I had no idea when I met you in 1988 that I would come to love you and care for you as much as I do. Go figure, eh? You're beautiful. Keep up the good work and I will too in the ways I do. Love from your Catherine, otherwise know as #1, and second mom to the Clayton men.

      Wednesday, November 12, 2003  4:38:23 PM
Name: emre
E-Mail: mire_grc@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: TURKEY, Ankara
Comments: Hi from the Turkey.İm 18 years old gay and im very sorry about Bill and i cried while reading the Bill`s story.The worst thing is that i know when they kill a gay in turkey the gay person`s family dont own their child or his gayness and probably they learn their child`s gayness from the police.

      Wednesday, November 12, 2003  1:41:00 PM
Name: fırat
E-Mail: cenkhayyam@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Turkey
Comments: It is very hard to express my feeling.In all over the world similar stories have been told.Coming out is not only a need but also it is very curicial.The political part of this issue is so much important.If we can not fight for ourselves, the stories like Bill's story will increase.There are many lessons that can be taken form this story.

      Tuesday, November 11, 2003  7:48:52 PM
Name: Daniel
E-Mail: wiccadictator@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: erie
Comments: i read the "Bill's Story" and i broke out in tears when i read it. i told my friends about the story so they read the it also and were so angrey with the boys who did that to him! i go through hell every day at school and on the street( not at home though), but nothing like this. anyway, i want to share a story of my own. i just "came out" this year, 10th grade, and everyone was fine with it or so i thought. so not thinking of what could happen i walked home. so i started walking home with some of my friend and had no idea that some one had a problem with me. we were almost home by this time but we had to pass a group of kids from are school. thinking nothing of it we passed them. secons later im being called a fag, man lover and other thing i dont want to write. well i ignored the coments and so did my friends. now by this time we were far ahead, all of a sudden i get a rock thrown at the back of my head. so i told them to f... off and leave me alone. that didnt stop them, they through rock until i got home. i didnt tell my mom or dad because they dont know yet, but i did tell the vice prin. and he said he would take care of it, ya right. two day later he told me it was our word agains theirs, even though i had black and blue mark on my head and back. so im afraid of what could happen. reading about him made me aware of what kind of people are out there. but there are homophobic people every where
thank you for listening

      Tuesday, November 11, 2003  12:28:52 PM
Name: John
E-Mail: gunnyding@aol.com
Homepage: http://members.aol.com/gunnyding/
Location: USA
Comments: God bless you mom. I am sorry for your loss and I am proud of you for your courage and determination. in love,John

      Monday, November 10, 2003  2:35:54 PM
Name: Alley
E-Mail: alleylovesafi@hotmail.com
Homepage:
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Comments: Yes, being gay is not a bad thing. People make me sick by telling other people that gay is bad. I for one, am a full blown bisexual.

      Thursday, November 06, 2003  5:55:57 PM
Name: Robin
E-Mail: summer_chick154@yahoo.com
Homepage: http://www.yahoo.com
Location: Wisconsin
Comments: Bills story was very touching. It is so sad that people can't except people just because of their sexuality. I live in a small sheltered community and when the school started the Gay/Straight alliance, the students posted things like 'FAGS' along with other hatefull words discriminating Bisexuals. This upset me so much, and I wish that I would have done something to stop it. I hope that all of the people that read Bill's story does something to help stop hate crimes in their own community. I was inspired to do something, what, I don't know yet. But I do know that these such things have to stop. I wish you and your family luck throughout the rest or you life. May you always find happiness and love in the people around you.

      Thursday, November 06, 2003  4:59:39 PM
Name: Perry Hahn
E-Mail: n/a
Homepage:
Location: Olympia High School
Comments: Sorry to hear about your son. Wish I could meet him today. I bet he was a great guy.
Perry Hahn
Olympia High School 2005

      Thursday, November 06, 2003  12:02:08 AM
Name: Linda Simmons
E-Mail: yorkielady1@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.msn.net
Location:
Comments: Bill's Story really hit me between the eyes(or definitely my heart). I ache for your family's loss and, although I cannot feel what you continue to feel, I am so grateful that I have been allowed to read not only Bill's Story, but his Mother's. My daughter has come out relatively late in life(almost 30) and I have had a rough time accepting, with understanding, the oreintation that you and your husband seem so at ease with. I have, in the past year, accepted her decision, and love her dearly. After reading your touching and loving account of your son's life, I feel fortunate to be blessed with my own daughter's life, regardless of her sexual orientation. We made her....all of her....and we will love her as she is. Thank you!

      Wednesday, November 05, 2003  11:16:43 PM
Name: darcy
E-Mail: mirrorslie@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/cutterslut
Location: ohio
Comments: kids can be so cruel. this site made me cry, it was so touching. its an amazing and rare thing you're doing... loving someone so completely, even when they've gone. i pray that this will save someone else's life, and i thank you for this site.

      Wednesday, November 05, 2003  5:07:20 PM
Name: Eric
E-Mail:
Homepage:
Location:
Comments: You are amazing, and strong.

      Wednesday, November 05, 2003  10:04:12 AM
Name: David Hamby
E-Mail: divad68@yahoo.com
Homepage:
Location: Wartburg, Tennessee
Comments: I happend upon your page this morning and read Bill's story. I found it very painful to read but also hopeful. I am a 35yr old living in a very predjudiced and redneck town, and I know very well what Bill was going through. I am only out to close friends for this reason. But I have been harrased all my life because of the asumption of my being gay. I would like to thank you for all you have done for our community and all you will do in the future. Reading this has convinced me to get more involved in stopping hate crimes. Thank you very much, David.

      Wednesday, November 05, 2003  1:23:08 AM
Name: Gabi Clayton
E-Mail:
Homepage: http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/respondex.html
Location: Olympia, WA
Comments: This new improved guestbook was started on 11/5/03. Links to pages with all the past responses to Bill's story are on the page link above. Thank you so much for signing my guestbook.
Love, Gabi

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