Gabi Clayton's Guestbook #25 - From 2/16/00 to 3/24/00
Note: This guestbook reads from the bottom of the page up. -- Gabi

Name: Mark
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Rochester, NY
Time: 2000-03-24 22:26:04
Comments: My deepest symapthies on the loss of your son. His story caused me to reflect on my own growing up, and coming out. I recalled the stage I refer to as overcoming my denial, and how difficult that was. I owe a great deal to the supportive friends and family I had around me. I'd like to think that the process has gotten easier for the succeeding generations, because of our visibility. However stories like Bill's remind me that we as a society, still have a long way to go.

Name: Darren
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Australia
Time: 2000-03-23 18:43:39
Comments: i'm a 31 year old gay man, still in the closet. When i hear and read stories like this, it seems to justify the fact that i keep my sexuality to my self. It is wrong that because we have differant preferences we feel the need to hide, or fear the consequences of society's bigots. I would give anything to live in a family, a society, a world were race, sex and sexual orientation were irrelevant, but that will probably never happen, all we can do is stand up and be counted, not for ourselves, but for those that preceeded us and those who will follow us, hopefully into a more tolerant society.

Name: freddie
Referred by: Lycos
From: San Jose, Ca.
Time: 2000-03-22 23:42:40
Comments: I'm very touched and sad cause I also was assaulted for been openly gay. Just as Bill I get very deperssed and suicadel,but I never gone to that point.My Mother has been there for me.I know that your son Bill is very proud of you. I still go though my deperssion, but I make it though. thank you, Freddie

Name: Clive King
Referred by: AOL
From: London
Time: 2000-03-22 15:02:58
Comments: I just wanted to say how sorry I am to read about your son's death - and how lucky he was to have such loving and supportive parents. Sadly, not even love and support can always protect us from the forces of hatred and ignorance.

Name: Sinner
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Bosnia - Sarajevo
Time: 2000-03-21 08:24:26
Comments: When will this hating stop? When will people learn to know that we are all alike, that we all have feelings that can be hurt, dreams that can he shattered, lives that can be lost.. I am not gay or bi- sexual, but we all have the same dark-red blood that should not be spilled. You have my deepest respect. Sinner.

Name: RaeAnna
Referred by: Net Search
From: Monona, Iowa
Time: 2000-03-21 05:02:05
Comments: I cryed my eyes out. I have an Aunt who happens to be bisexual. Most of my familly has excepted her but a couple have disowned her. I personally think it dosen't matter what sex a person happens to love as long as they are happy. I am so sorry that Bill had to resort to death. I just don't understand this world. I hope everything works out for you and your familly.

Name: t.Howe
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Regina, Sask
Time: 2000-03-20 18:47:15
Comments: I would like to express my deepest sympathy for the loss of your son. I myself am not gay or bisexual but I feel all people should be treated equal no matter what the choose to do in life. And I what I mean by that comment is if someone is gay ,so what, they are still human beings. And it is sad to say that your son was not treated like a human being that he was.I feel profoundly for you and your family who have lost the life of your precious son. It is March 20,2000 and at our school is Stop the Hate week but it only focuses on racism against color. I think hat should be stopes in every form it comes in. For the gay community, I don't think they should stand together beacuse they are gay but I think that every human being in the world should stand together in the fight against hate and racism. I sure hope you get this letter and I probably will write again to let you know what is going on where I live. Please take care of yourself and I send my love for you and your family. God bless you and family. T.Howe

Name: Bobbi Kay
Referred by: Net Search
Time: 2000-03-20 17:02:34
Comments: I work at an International school and we're hoping to start a tolerance group here. What a sad, yet amazing story. Thank you for sharing.

Name: thanghuynh
Referred by: AOL
From: vietnamese
Time: 2000-03-19 19:40:08
Comments: It is really touch to read your story. Thanks very much.

Name: Geneb
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Michigan
Time: 2000-03-19 19:27:27
Comments: It is so sad, when a fine young man like Bill feels that the only solution is suicide. Society in general is to blame, we all have so much to learn. It is such a sad story. I have downloaded the drawing he made and his picture so that I can remember him every day. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Name: Barb
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Michigan
Time: 2000-03-18 11:19:08
Comments: I'm so sorry about your loss. I know exactly how your son felt, I am a lesbian woman who comes from a very homophobic family and culture. It's such a shame that others focous in the sexual aspect of a gay/lesbian relationship instead of the emotional side of it. We all need to take a stand and let people know we will not tolerate the abuse anymore.

Name: jitu
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-03-18 01:01:36
Comments: hi was nice to know u fought and are still fighting for issues which society wants to shun or kep silent.I extend my support and am willing to do my bit. do reply love jitu

Name: Adam
Referred by: From a Friend
From: South Africa
Time: 2000-03-17 23:07:56
Comments: To all the Gays and Lesbians in the world, please don`t look for friends where the enemy are, and for light where the dark is,,,,,,,,,,,,love you all Adam A K

Name: Christopher Woodhouse
Referred by: Clicked on our Banner Advertisement
From: Fairfield_California
Time: 2000-03-17 19:38:31
Comments: The story of your son is truly, without a daubt, the most terible thing that I have ever heard of happening to another human being. I am certain that a person with the noblity of character that you have shared of your son would aquire sainthood from the unjustices he endured. It can thankfully now be said though, "He is at peace." In that we can be thankful. I only hope that the world will learn from sad lessons like the one of Billy, that the price of intolerance is simply to high, and the rewards of hate do not justify the exspence of life.

Name: Courtney
Referred by: Net Search
From: indiana
Time: 2000-03-17 18:45:39
Comments: I just want to say i lost someone very close to me, my uncle, through suicide. He was only 33 and i was 15 at the time im 17 now and it is still so hard to go on living i myself have even attempted suicide i was 16 at the time i just want to say i know how it feels bc he was so close and your site is really good.

Name: amber testa
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: NJ
Time: 2000-03-16 07:59:32
Comments: I just want to let you know that I admire you and your families courage. I do not know if you heard but there is a fairly new law in NJ stating that a section on the Holocaust is required to be taught to all ages each year. Hopefully, one of the things that the teachers will teach the students is that not only Jews were persecuted. So were homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Gypsies, and many others. In the future I hope that each state will adopt a similar law. The only way to stop the violence is to educate our youth. Teach the to have love, compassion and respect for all people.

Name: Amie' Richard
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Houston, TX
Time: 2000-03-16 07:43:34
Comments: Keep smiling. Because of people like you and your son it makes it easier to deal with all of the crud in this world. His story brought tears to my eyes and gave me chills. I have never been physically assaulted, but I have been emotionally assaulted by cruel, ignorant people. Keep your head up and know that Bill's story touched me and makes me want to go out and speak!!!

Name: Cassandra Wilusz
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Saratoga Springs,NY
Time: 2000-03-15 12:57:14
Comments: I found your web page very moving. I may not have known your son but i to have seen the horrible acts that can be done to kids that are homosexual or gay. It saddens me that he did not stick it out long enough to see that somewhere in this world he would fit he would be judged upon for the person that he was and the person that he was going to develop into not just on his sexual preference i am 18 yrs old and i am going to write one of my college english papers on him the paper has to be about hate crimes i find this especially perfect cause it shows that death does not have to be inflicted upon them they can do it to themselves because of other people thank you very much for this site Sincerly, Cassandra Wilusz

Name: Angela
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: South Orange County, CA
Time: 2000-03-15 12:04:19
Comments: I am very moved & inspired by your son's story...I am sorry for loss. I pray someday the world will not be such a hurtful place & people's hearts not so full of hate. Thank you for your courage & support of all gays & lesbians.

Name: Jeff C
Website: MormonAid- Homosexuality, Suicide and The Mormon Church
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: San Diego CA
Time: 2000-03-14 12:45:14
Comments: I am in the prosses of gathering stories of GLBT LDS people who have attempted suicide or commited suicide for a web site dealing with the outcome of the LDS Church's stance on homosexuality. The page should be up in a few days and will be a work in progress. 3 gay mormon men have commited suicied in the last two weeks inpart due to the church's political stance on Prop 22 in CA. Any stories would be helpful (dont have to be LDS) This is a great site. I read it a year or two ago and could not stop crying. The Memory of this young man touches lives and he lives on.

Name: Sarah
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: South Holland, IL
Time: 2000-03-14 10:42:06
Comments: I really don't know what to say. I just wanted to let you that two of my closest friends are homosexual. I wouldn't give them up for the world and can't imagine what my life would be without them! I, myself, am straight- but am outraged at all the hate crimes that I found doing my project for a class. Know that I am praying for you- and the late Bill. I know that he is in a much better place surrounded by God's love! God Bless!- Sarah =)

Name: Caleb Barker
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Sydney Australia
Time: 2000-03-13 21:01:54
Comments: I wish to God that the world would not be such a horrible place for us young gay people. I am a young man who came out a year ago and I have lost my relationship with my mother and family. The only person I have anything to do with now is my father. My friends after I came out did not want anything to do with me neither. I was sexually abused when I was 15 looking back now I can see that the man who did this to me was taking advantage of my sexual orientation that was there even before I had acknowledged it myself. Anyway for years I was lead to believe that I was gay due to this abuse however I now know the truth. I met a man who I fell in love with and he like your son has given up hope and no longer wants to live. He was the man who however in the hour of his weakness gave me the strength to accept myself. He grew up in a church situation and at 42 no longer wanted to live as he had tried everything to deliver himself from the evil desires of love. He has been in a institution for the last 8 months and I misse and love him and there has not been a day that I have not thought about him. I want to thank you for shareing your story and that your son was not alone in his pain even though my friend has never been abused about his sexuality in a physical sense he has been emotionaly and spiritualy abused by the church. Love always a man who has seen it all to often in this hateful world of ours. However through hatred we also see the love that is much more stronger than the hatred that we have both experienced in watching those we love disappear. Hugs and Kisses Caleb

Name: Brit
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Tennessee
Time: 2000-03-13 19:53:42
Comments: You should be very proud of him. God has a plan for each of us. He obviously found that. Thanks for sharing because things like this could change someone elses life around.

Name: dave
Website: Get Paid To Surf The Web
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: ny
Time: 2000-03-13 12:45:31
Comments: nice site, i like it a lot. check out my site, you can be paid to surf the web

Name: Stuart Hammond
Website: Glasgow Gay & Lesbian Centre
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Glasgow Scotland
Time: 2000-03-13 12:10:58
Comments: Thank you for creating this guestbook, it helps to know that there are generously minded people out there, who embrace sexual diversity and celebrate equality.

Name: kristi
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: va beach, va
Time: 2000-03-13 05:12:13
Comments: gabi, i know it is almost 5 years later, but i just wanted to say i am sorry about your son. i am not sure how i got to your page, but i am glad i did. it made me realize how messed up some people are. i am not bi or anything, but i am against anything mean or wrong that happens to them. i feel they are people and should be treated like everybody else. that makes me so mad that people could be like that. i have a project in english and i wish i could do the subject of hate crimes cuz i would defiently include your story. by the way i am a 17 year old female. well i have to go. if you get a chance i would like for you to respond. thank you and again i am sorry about your son. kristi

Name: Samantha Miller
Referred by: Net Search
From: Salem,Ma
Time: 2000-03-11 08:05:15
Comments: I admire the strength put forth in this documentary.Many of my friends and family members are either gay ,lesbians,or bi-sexuals,and with this I have no problem.One of my good friends was beaten at school for having a different sexual preference than many students....but unlike bill did,my friend learned to cope with it.I'm constantly being harassed at school because of my religion in taking part of the wicca.My friends,who are either jewish or christian,have no problems with it,but some of the staff avoid me in the highest.i'm hoping that one day there will be no such cases as bills,or my friends,but in the meantime, lets try and begin it today.

Name: Joris van Rooij
Website: unico and the european tour....
Referred by: From a Friend
From: the netherlands
Time: 2000-03-10 12:37:04
Comments: Dear Ms Clayton, Of course I know that my few words to you won't make any difference but I want to make sure that I'm deeply impressed by Bills' story. Due to my work I get in contact with several kind of persons throughout europe and nearly all of them seems to have some bad experiences in their live to get through. Even so many advices and opinions about 'how to create a better society with more tolerance' were discussed. Unfortunately till now not one of those brought up a 'solution'. I really believe in your way of 'Tell the world what happened!!!'... hopefully one day it will result into a better world without these sad happenings. I want you to know that in my heart I will stand with you and give you my support in these tuff strike. With the highest consideration, J. van Rooij - Chairman of the Unico Foundation, The Netherlands

Name: Veronica Jackson
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Mannassas, Virginia
Time: 2000-03-09 15:14:53
Comments: I'm sorry for your loss. Bill sounded like a great person. Those boys who hurt him desevered more than provation. You have all the support you need from me at any time. Sincerly, Veronica

Name: Mark Roth
Referred by: AOL
From: Houston
Time: 2000-03-09 07:12:56
Comments: I was looking up information on the Lions Eye Bank when I came upon your site. I am so sad that these things still happen in our society. As you said, I believe it is in the silence where hatred and prejudice germinates. I plan on forwarding your web site to all of my friends and associates. My prayers go to you and your family.

Name: Donald C. Pratt
Referred by: AOL
From: Brick,NJ
Time: 2000-03-08 16:26:28
Comments: i am so happy to see such loving and supportive and friends. i only wish i had that kind of support during my "closet" years...what you stand for is a wonderful thing! thanks for sharing you story. Don

Name: Johnnie
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Miami, Florida
Time: 2000-03-08 13:42:16
Comments: Dear Gabi & Family, My heart goes out to you. I could barely hold back my own emotions as a read of Bill's fate. It's a depressingly hateful world around us. I understand the exact torment and torture your Bill went through at school and with peers. I myself came out at the age of 13 in the town of Waterloo, Iowa. Not only was I gay but also at the time there were no other hispanics in town, which made me a target for all. I was physically assaulted many many times in High School, at Games and other social events. I don't know where I found the strength to go on but, I did. People can be so cruel for no apparent reason. And, I agree with you and your husband hate, is taught and not inherited. Unfortunetly my family was not as supportive as you and your family are. I thank you for your courage to understand and to recognize what a gay/bi/tg person really is. People to often think all we're about is sex. We have hopes, dreams, and inspirations just like everyone else. We are no different from hetrosexuals. We can not help who we love and we should not be expected to ignore our love. Your courage and strength can only give me strength courage and hope that some day my lover and I shall be recognized as a family and not two men living in sin. It's been 16 years since I've come out of the closet and it seems we as a community have made such little progress on our equal rights. Please let me know what more I can do to help you in your efforts. In closing I would like to extend my sympathy to your family and Bills friends. Nothing will bring him back physically but to those he loved his light grows in your hearts forever. With much love, Johnnie

Name: Brian
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Missouri
Time: 2000-03-07 09:19:58
Comments: I was having my morning coffee and was surfing when I came across this site. I read all about Bills story and looked through his pictures and cried like a baby. How could such a beautiful and sensitive creature as Bill suffer such a horrible fate? I really related to his story because I am the same age as him and his story was incredibly similiar to mine own. I am now 23 and living an open, gay life with my lover of 5 years...I came out when I was 14 and almosted succeeded in ending my life when I was 17 from depression...luckly, I was found; passed out on my bedroom floor next to an empty bottle of generic sleeping pills and a fifth of vodka and saved just in time...I am glad you all have decided to share this story with anybody who will listen. Gay teens need to know that there IS a world out there for them that is accepting and positive. A world that will get better as time goes on (afterall, GLBT people are Not going away...quite the contrary). Your story touched me in a deep and profound way and I will never forget is as long as I live.

Name: Danny
Website: The great Love page
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Germany
Time: 2000-03-06 21:54:04
Comments: First of all I want to tell you that I am very sorry for your loss and that Bills Story touched me a lot. I live in Germany and compared to the US it seems that gay life is more accepted over here than in your country. I feel so helpless when I read stories like Bill's and I wish that people would finally understand that being gay is as normal as having blonde hair or green eyes. It often happens in our world that minorities get hit by majorities. Anything what does not meet the societies standards is not normal and has to be destroyed. Do we really have to accept this? NO WAY. But it is so easy to say we have to do something about it as long as the goverment, our goverment which was elected by us, does not really care. Even though Germany seems to be more liberal, I just ran into the anti gay foreign department of my city. I have a friend from Asia and we want to live together in Germany. We are boyfriends for more than a year now but the foreign department of the city I live in does not agree on the visa for my friend. That means that he can only come and visit me for 3 months and has to travel back and stay in Asia for 3 months again. Only one person decides if I am allowed to live with my gay partner from abroad or not. Since this person is a real anti gay guy, there is no chance for us to get a long term visa and I will have to move to the Netherlands in order to be able live with my friend. We all have to do something to make people understand what it means to be gay. In many discussions with curious friends I heard that for many of them Gay = a man having sex with a man. For them LOVE and SEX often is the same and gay sex is eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! We have to make clear that LOVE is always something special and that it does not matter if this love happens between a man and a woman, two men or two women. What is wrong with our society? We fly to the moon, we were able to cure really bad deseases but we cannot accept something the nature designed?? 15% of all mankind are gay/lesbian. Some genes decide if a person turns out to be gay or straight or at what percentage he/she is bi. We have to accept that people are unique in their own special way. We are no robots, we are humans and that makes us unique. We don't have to agree on everything but we HAVE TO accept when others are different from us. I would never go out and bash straight people. I accept them the way they are and still I do not try to be like them because that is not possible. We need to be more tolerant. I am very sure that your wonderful website will help many people in understanding and accepting us gay people. Thank you very much for designing this page. I would have loved to meet Billy if I had the chance because I got the feeling that he was a wonderful and unique son to you and a great friend to his friends. Your friend Danny...

Name: jeff murray
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: hoover, al
Time: 2000-03-06 14:53:34
Comments: wonderful site, i hope that it will change some close minded person that comes across it, intolerance and ignorance is the root of all our troubles, thank you for sharing your story

Name: Irene Kelly
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Northern California
Time: 2000-03-05 22:03:57
Comments: Hey, hi. I read the email you sent to us JWS alums, and though we've never met, I was intrigued (and touched) enough to check out your site, which I enjoyed perusing. Thank you for the info, and for your efforts supporting the GLBT community.

Name: Samuel Joseph Roberts
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Weaverville Ca.
Time: 2000-03-04 21:21:30
Comments: I appreciate the fact that there ARE people out there that care. The time has come for everyone to take a stand against hate crimes. It is hard enough dealing with who I am, I don't need others to tell me I don't belong and that I'm the scurge of the earth just because I find my love with a man. If it makes me happy, what should they care? So I choose to love a man, should I feel any different about you because You choose to love a woman? NO! I have had enough of people talking down about gays, and "gay bashing", and it isn't going to get any better until we do something about it. Joe LCPL/USMC

Name: Nichole Kocan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Johnson City New York
Time: 2000-03-03 16:38:07
Comments: My name is Nichole and I just wanted to tell you I am sorry for your loss, even though I have never experienced anything like what you went threw. I am amzaed at how many crimes are committed agaisnt homosexuals each year, and why there really has been nothing to stop it. This is pretty pathetic coming from an 18yr.who knows nothing about this subject, and the only reason why I am searching this topic is for a college paper. Your story of your son has touched me tremendously and I will always remember it. Once again I am sorry.

Name: Amanda
Website: Andy's Poetry Page
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Oklahoma
Time: 2000-03-03 14:43:07
Comments: I was very touch by Bill's story. I hope that we can all stick together and fight homophobia. It is very sad when anyone has to be hurt because who they are. I had many thoughts of sucide and beleive if it weren't for the love of my life "Ali" that rescued me, I might have. I believe though love we can all make a difference. Thanks Bills mom for sharing your memories of Bill with us.

Name: Vicky
Referred by: Net Search
From: Kansas
Time: 2000-03-03 11:22:54
Comments: Your story was touching and i would like to know more about it if it is at all possibal. i'm 14 years old and am doing an school paper about the bill of rights. i chose to do it on gays.

Name: Anne Autin-Simon
Website: Ann's Zone (sorry it's only in french)
Referred by: Net Search
From: Belgium
Time: 2000-03-03 08:24:46
Comments: I am sorry for your loss. As a mother, I admire you. Now that I have read his story, I will never forget your son Bill. Anne

Name: Flutterby
Website: Killerbutterfly
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Woodland Hills, California
Time: 2000-03-02 16:40:48
Comments: If there is light in the soul, There will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, There will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, There will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, There will be peace in the world. Chinese Proverb

Name: Brent Burriola
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Seattle, WA
Time: 2000-03-02 09:26:30
Comments: Being a young bisexual man, I understand the struggle that plagues us all. The inequality... the ignorance. The amount of hate in the world seems so insurmountable sometimes, but its sites like this and People like you who change all of that. I thank God everday for people like you who will not only prevent other lives from being lost, but drown hate in love.

Name: Franco Dixon
Referred by: Net Search
From: America
Time: 2000-03-02 03:00:33
Comments: Hello, I found the page on your son while surfing the web. I'm 19 years old and straight when I read about your son my heart grew grieveious. When I was younger(16) I thought I was gay because everyone said I was and wound up trying to be gay but it didn't wrk out I went throught much pain, feeling up and then down.I had to go to the hospital for mental care and start seeing a counselor. I had to start taking protez an other pills to make me stable. They were docter priscibed. All this happened while I was 16 years old in 1996. But now its the year 2000 and I'm perfectly fine no more pills,hospitals,and no more counselors. I'm now a minter and have no homosexual desire.I have no girlfriend but I'm happy about what Lord has done for me. I'm so glad my homosexual lifestyle never worked out. Because I was very confessed then and could not make clear discissions for myself. One night I tried to commit suicide by cutting my own rist with a steak knife,there I was on my bedroom floor just sawing away at my rist an sobbing greatly then my mom comes in and stops me the thing about it is I was really cutting at my rist very hard, the knife was sharp.When I stoped crying to my suprise there was no blood anywhere to be found no cut no abrasion. Just learn to pray the devil is gonna get whats coming to him for messing with God's children.

Name: kristina thomas
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: california
Time: 2000-03-01 21:48:32
Comments: While searching about hate crimes of America, I found this page. When I started reading it, it made me cry. I am not gay, bisexual, transexual or nor any other. But I am a person that faces prejudice everyday from friends. I would like to thank you for writing this article. I just wish your brother or son I forgot how he's realated to you, but I wish he could have still had faith. For me I'm like him at 14, suicidal and depressed. Reading your article has given me more faith of not giving up hope to survive in this depressing life of mine.

Name: B.G.
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: OHIO
Time: 2000-03-01 21:01:06
Comments: Why is our world so brutal? It is a shame that people have to leave our earth to bring out awareness. People need to be educated and it is unfortunate that Bill's voice is louder, now that he is gone. I am sorry about your loss :(

Name: Alois Brunner
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: USA
Time: 2000-03-01 15:56:07
Comments: Yo Bitch! The First Amendment covers telling the truth about sick perverts, like the room temperature piece of trash you spawned.Perverts are not above criticism.

Name: shalee
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: indiana
Time: 2000-03-01 08:37:31
Comments: I'm very sorry to hear what happened.

Name: Crystal Kempf
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Loganville Ga
Time: 2000-03-01 07:00:20
Comments: I never knew how much hate there was for gays and lesbians. But I'm 18 years old and i'll stand behind anyone of my friends who choose to be, it might not help much, but i'll support them through everything. I'm sorry to hear about your son and good luck with making others relize that being a lesbian and gay isn't a diease. I was given this topic for a report at first i wasn't sure if this was a good topic, but now i know that i'll learn somthing and i can help others learn stuff too.

Name: Elisabet
Website: dont have any!!
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Iceland
Time: 2000-03-01 04:46:15
Comments: I´m sorry for your loss.... I´m crying now because I know that situation... thank you!

Name: Jennifer
Website: The *WACKED* Homepage Of Me
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Kansas
Time: 2000-02-28 22:31:14
Comments: Nothing more (not even the movie Titanic) as moved me so much than that of the story of Bill. I'm doing research for a social studies project, and my subject was "hate crime". I knew that there were more hate crimes that just race and sex, sexual preference. It's sad and tragic for what these people go through...and its all due to those whom think that they are the only ones good enough to live here. I think it's kinda sad that i'm only 15 and know the difference. To those who say that God only created straight men and women...who created God to be straight?

Name: Matthew Wilson
Website: Matthews Wilson's page against Hate
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Pueblo, Colorado
Time: 2000-02-27 23:28:22
Comments: Billy sounds like a wonderful person, I wish that I could have known him. I just wanted to say that my heart and my prayers are with you. Gabi you have lost so much, and you still remain strong, for that I admire you. I also wanted to thank you for your efforts in both educating and trying to stop hatred out there. Love to all, and Blessed be Matthew J Wilson

Name: Jose
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Rhode Island
Time: 2000-02-27 19:54:29
Comments: You are love in it's truest form, you are truly wonderful people.

Name: Bobbie
Website: RainbowNet Resources
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Reseda, CA
Time: 2000-02-27 13:46:13
Comments: This is a great site with an incredible message. You are doing a great job.

Name: jackie dollinger
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: new jersey
Time: 2000-02-27 10:56:12
Comments: wow. im bisexuall and desperately working on my highschool to support gay rights. im stunned by this story and so sorry for your loss. all the love in the world for you. ~jackie~

Name: Andrew
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Fort Worth Texas
Time: 2000-02-27 09:12:44
Comments: Reading this story brings me to tears---I am 20 years old and just recently cam out to my mother and family... they have accepted me and my life is actually better. I feel like my life is complete now that I can live as who I am not as how society wants me to be---- Thank you for your courage to share your sons story-------------my heart is with you and your family-------------------

Name: melinda stults & sherri rose
Referred by: AOL
From: Arkansas
Time: 2000-02-27 00:22:55
Comments: I admire your strength and dedication to a cause so very important in our society. There is so much to be learned from each of us, as a people, and yet there are those who cannot see past one particular aspect of the many that define who one is. From this comes fear which breeds hate which makes some feel justified in cruel and sadistic actions against those not understood or those that are different. I,too, am "different" and have many different facets of a truly wonderful whole. It is my hope that your endeavors and your love for your son inspire and educate so that these horrific acts may cease. Thank you for your courage.

Name: Courtney
Referred by: AOL
From: Ga.
Time: 2000-02-26 22:13:27
Comments: I am very touched by this story. I am glad that you decided to share it with people 'cause this is a story that really needs to be shared.

Name: chris haiss
Website: Love Knows No Borders
Referred by: NewsGroups
From: California
Time: 2000-02-26 20:21:20
Comments: Thanks for sharing. I'd wish more people would understand that sexual orientation does not make you a good or bad person. Nobody should suffer for falling in love with someone of the same sex. What a cruel world that allows these things to happen.

From: Virginia
Time: 2000-02-26 16:25:56
Comments: The thing that saddens me the most is that your son's story is not that unusual. I'm bisexual and currently attending the College of William and Mary. Luckly I have found a support group of others like me and people who are "straight but not narrow." There is a student run organization on campus for GLSTB and supports of them which has been very helpful. There is still much prejudice. As a freshman, I do not feel that I can come out to everyone, specifically my hall. Many others I know feel the same way. I have found those who accept me for who I am, but there are still those (unfortunately a majority) who just don't understand. I don't lie about my sexuality I just don't volunteer the information to those in my hall. Recently Alan Keyes came and spoke on campus. Listening to him speak made me feel physically sick and I started crying in the middle of his speach. I was one of the lucky people to be able to ask a question. I questioned him on his stance on the "gay agenda" as well as women in the military. According to him, homosexuals choose to be that way, they are unable to control their sexual impulses. Accepting the "gay agenda" would result in adultery, a bluring of the line between adults and children and the disintengration of the heterosexual family. After the speach a lot of people, many whom I knew as being very liberal, said they were so glad I asked the question and he was so rude to me and didn't really answer the question. Then many people whom I didn't expect to hear from came up and said the same thing. I was so relieved to see people slowly becoming more openminded. Unfortunately, there were a lot of people attending the speach that strongly believe in everything he was saying. That knowledge made me very sad, that we have people supporting ideas of hate and thinking it's ok for them to hate. They relate to their religion saying that the bible says homosexuals are evil and going to hell. One of my good friends whose parents are both ministers, told me that he gets so infuriated when people try to use the bible as an excuse to hate other people. Like your son, I have converted to paganism. I have found that conformist religions cause so many of the problems the minorities in society are faced with. There is a quote that I really like, and I think it is so true: "God, save me from your followers." I appologize for the length of this but I know what your son went through, I have suffered from manic depression for quite sometime and I am also a rape victim (I'm female and was raped by a man much older than me who I knew). I just want you to know that you have support and there are those of us doing all that we can to help make a difference. "A mind is like a parachute. It only functions when open."

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-02-25 21:32:43

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
Time: 2000-02-25 21:31:59

Name: george
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: the netherlands
Time: 2000-02-25 14:55:57
Comments: I've read the story and I was moved by it. Bill must have been a promise for many. But what parents and brother he had. Accepting and loving him as he was and after the horror finding the strength to try to keep people away from the path of hate and misunderstanding. I wish you all the success other "Bill's" will need.

Name: Amy Koch
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Lehighton, Pa
Time: 2000-02-24 19:36:52
Comments: I am very interested in the whole teenage suicide because of homosexuality or bisexuality. I may only be sixteen but I am very open minded and I have learned to except things the way they are and learn to care about people becuase of who, not what, they are. I'm sorry to hear what happened and I'm sure you're sick of hearing people you don't know say that. Maybe we could get in touch. Amy

Name: valerie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: tx
Time: 2000-02-24 16:09:18
Comments: i just wanted to let you know that i am using your story for my college course. It was a very compelling story, and i know how hard it is to lose a loved one. Hopefully, someday people will understand that this negative belief system has no basis, and if people would just base a person on personality rather than less neccessary method. I am so sorry for your loss, this will end.

Name: Tim D. Huber, PhD
Referred by: Net Search
From: Killingworth, CT
Time: 2000-02-24 14:47:07
Comments: Gabbi--Thank you so much for a loving testiment to truth and right action in a world that is sometimes filled with such hate, fear and ignorance. The unconditional love you have shown for your son is so uplifting. You and your family are great teachers for all of us. I am a gay psychologist who assists others with grief and loss. The rituals you have employed and the expression of your truth and grief brought tears of deep grief and also ecstacy. I have never encountered such a loving family. I work from a spiritual framework. I am always trying to figure out the deepest truth and meaning. I believe this is possible at times and not at others. Of course, full truth lies within. But when I hear such powerful stories like Bill's I wonder: Was this the ultimate way that the truth needs to be revealed? We are all in process, but I believe we are also essentially Spirit. I am blessed to have had you, Bill and your family cross my consciousness. I am a more truthful, open-hearted and loving person because of it. Thank you and blessings to you in your evolution. You are in my prayers. Namaste, Tim

Name: Jack L. Crain
Website: Modern Renegades
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Louisiana
Time: 2000-02-24 07:31:15
Comments: I just read "Bills Story" and the tears are still streaming. There have been so many stories like his in my own life, young boys becoming men, realizing that they are Gay and not knowing how to cope and where to turn for help. At least Bill had a loving and supportive family. Many boys have families that do not understand and have actually been trained to hate by their own religious leaders who have to be made to realize their responsibility in these depressions and deaths. Whether from ignorance or greed for power and money, it is the misinformation put out by religious leaders more than anything else that has lead to this climate of hate. It is time for them to be held responsible for their actions. I hope that you will let me know what I can do to help and that you will let your clients know that there is another outlet for their frustrations, their own creativity. Young people who wish to share their creative work with others can submit it to the Modern Renegades site. This is a free online magazine that attempts to bring together the various ethnic, cultural and social groups of the gay, male community by highlighting the work and talent of the individual members of those groups worldwide.

Name: Christian
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Paris
Time: 2000-02-24 05:42:53
Comments: Touching. Thank you for letting the world share this story. Christian

Name: Ken Draper
Website: Oryan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: tulsa Ok
Time: 2000-02-23 15:27:49
Comments: sorry for your lost. One thing I do is working with glbt youth thought a mental health center.

Name: Ole Christian
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Norway
Time: 2000-02-23 05:19:08
Comments: My condolanse. I'm very sad to say that we can't change the world. But we can try to help them see clearer. I'm a hetrosexual boy, but I know several gay people. They're nice. I hope u have gotten over it and moved on. Love Ole Christian Andersen Norway.

Name: josh
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Cincinnati
Time: 2000-02-23 01:05:23
Comments: I've sat hear for a long time trying to find the words in response to billy's story. You see my tears keep getting in the way. I've found myself in the same boat that's why it hurts so much, I'm crying for two people. Every so often I'm forced to find another reason to go on because the old one wears thin or it's not enuff. Bill's story gave me time :) Can you understand what it's like having spent every day of your life begging God to take it back? It's kinda like not breathing. If you even think you might know sombody like this just hug them and don't let loose untill they start punching you. If I ever get the chance to meet God I'm going to kick his ass. Untill then I hope That I will find a friend. p.s. I'm to young for this.

Name: Sara
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Santa Cruz
Time: 2000-02-22 23:04:08
Comments: WOW...I am using your story for a research paper about the effects of the censorship and oppression of homosexuality in the education system. This story made me cry. I am so thankful that the high school I went to was very liberal and open about sexuality...I am very sorry for your loss.

Name: huron orr
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: biloxi,ms
Time: 2000-02-22 00:01:36
Comments: i was very touched by your sons story as i was reading it i could see myself in the words for i to tried to end my life in 1993.for the same reasons thank you for the touching story on your son sincerly ] Huron C.Orr

Name: Stephanie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: minnesota
Time: 2000-02-21 21:49:17
Comments: Hey. I just wanted to say that as many poeple tht are out there that are ignorant, there are 5 times as many who arent, so stay strong.

Referred by: From a Friend
Time: 2000-02-21 14:11:48

Name: Kathleen Rose Britton
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Portland OR (formerly from Olympia)
Time: 2000-02-21 13:13:04
Comments: I was part of the Olympia community supporting Bill and your family. I have since moved on to Portland. Finding your site, I was moved once again by Bill's story. Thank you for creating this beautiful website as a reminder. kb

Name: Rheagan Barrett
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Hamilton, Ohio
Time: 2000-02-21 11:06:03
Comments: I am doing a project for one of my college classes. The topic has to do with racism and hate crimes. I am really sorry for what you went through; I know it is not easy to lose a loved one. I hope that what you are doing with the web site and everything will hopefully stop the amount of racism and hate crimes in the U.S. Thank You, Rheagan Barrett

Name: Aylee
Referred by: Geocities
From: Israel
Time: 2000-02-20 23:46:16
Comments: As a bisexual teenage girl myself, who is often being misunderstood or mistreated, I found Bill's Story incredibly touching and found myself feeling the greatest compassion and empathy one could feel. It is clear that Homophobia, as well as Xenophobia and other prejudiced unreasonable hatreds, will not pass this world soon enough, but it is great that there are still sound people fighting to stop it. I wish you all the best of luck.

Name: Rachel
Referred by: AOL
From: Modesto,CA
Time: 2000-02-20 18:59:43
Comments: I can't find the words to tell you how deeply touched I am by Bill's story.It was too difficult for me to hold back tears while reading, and even though I knew nothing of him till now, I feel almost a special clossness to him. I will be sure to include your family in my prayers and continue to fight against the discrimination of homosexuals. Love, Rachel, Age 15, Modesto,Ca

Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Lynchburg Va.
Time: 2000-02-20 13:02:10

Name: Savanna
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Tx
Time: 2000-02-20 08:38:56
Comments: i found this web page very touching and it helped me to realize how much hate there is out there...thank you...i needed to realize that....

Name: Abel Luna
Referred by: From a Friend
From: El Paso, TX
Time: 2000-02-20 00:07:37
Comments: After reading your memorial I felt almost obligated to sign your guest book. I currently am undergoing many life changes such as an illness as well, being openly gay and coming out to family and such is a difficult task but one made easier by a loving supporting family. I must say that you, your family and your son serve as an inspiration and role model to me. It gives me great comfort to know that there are still people in this world who try and choose to make it a better place for all and who still believe in the freedom of choice and pursuit of happiness. I commend you on your attitude and just for the personality that shows so brightly even through typed words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart after reading this story and hearing your words you have made my life just a little bit easier and made me feel just a little bit better. Thank you your caring attitude and few words have made a fundamental impact in my life and for that i will always be grateful.

Name: Chris Worley
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Alabaster, Alabama
Time: 2000-02-19 22:26:11
Comments: This was truely a moving story and gives me even more reasons to keep fighting to end hate against my people. A year ago today a gay man was beaten to death and set on fire near where I live. I would hope that things like this as bas as they are will push people to act against hate crimes against gay, lesbian, and Bi community. i want to thank you for telling his story.

Name: nikki
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: im from florida
Time: 2000-02-19 18:21:51
Comments: i read this and it touched my heart! im sorry to hear what happen.i know what its like to loose someone specail like he was.he sounds like a good least hes in a better place now and will never be hurt again.tonight before i go to bed,when nealin,i will say a preyer to him to show that his story touched me.

Name: Florian
Referred by: Viewing another Guestbook
From: Germany
Time: 2000-02-19 15:27:09
Comments: "...the most important things in life - aren´t things..." Gabi, thank you for sharing your personal feelings with us. It made me very sorry to read about this well known labyrinth in the very young life of your son. YOU did all you could do! Do we know whether Bill isn´t much more around now, than he was before? God bless you - take care! Florian

Name: Székelyhidi Attila
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Hungary
Time: 2000-02-18 17:31:13
Comments: If only i could have a family like this when i was 14-15 years old to support me and to be there for me in those hard months. I'd like to say i'm feeling with You in Your sorrow. Take care. Attila

Name: Christopher L. Marsh
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: Blairsville, Pennsylvannia
Time: 2000-02-18 10:03:59
Comments: Yes, it is extremely SAD to think that hate-filled beasts have slipped through the sands of time, from the aweful past and into the present. I truely thought that may be, just may be, everyone would have LEARNED from the past to re-route the future so that we would NOT run through the burning inferno of hate again !!! To think that the leason that was suposed to be learned from World War II has been losted - buried in the ground along with the witenessing bodies, from that time, that are still found there today. The Nazis thought of hate in the same way as do those who hate people for being who they are. It DOES NOT matter if you are Gay, Bi, or Transgendered. The only thing that does matter is that you are a PERSON !!! Anyone who has the nerve to say that they HATE people who are Gay, Bi, or Transgendered, and still quote that they are a Person is a LIAR !!!!!!! You have to be Human first to be a person, and those beasts sure as HELL are NOT Human !!!! The old saying really rings true to this day, just as it has in the past, and just as it always will in the future - "What people do NOT understand, they Fear. What people Fear, they Hate!" In my opinion, these beasts need to start Educating themselves before any more of God's wonderful children have their beautiful lives snuffed out - either by direct or indirect means. Life is way toooo precise !!! You only get 1 Life, don't take someone elses !!!! Now for those hate-filled mongrels who say, "Hey, Just who in the Hell do you think you are. I'm right, and I AM a Human Being !!!" Then there is only one thing left for myself to say - "I am Ashamed to the Highest Degree to call myself a HUMAN BEING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Name: Dan
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: PA
Time: 2000-02-17 20:09:22
Comments: i thought that this page was wonderful. i admire what you are doing very much!

Name: Cindy Gorn
Referred by: From a Friend
From: Eastern PA
Time: 2000-02-17 20:06:08
Comments: Mrs. Gabi Clayton, I just wanted to leave this message to tell you what fantastic and brave people you and your family are. By making your son's story available on the internet you open to a wide audience, which also leaves it open for ridicule, though I do not want to think about the kind of person who would do that. I am personally crying as I right this and I cannot imagine the strength you needed to pull through. Thank you so much for sharing your son's story with the world, I know I personally will never forget it. Sincerely, Cindy Gorn (14 years of age)

Name: Heather
Referred by: Net Search
From: Olympia, WA
Time: 2000-02-17 00:16:30
Comments: I came upon your page through a link from a teen support group website. It chilled but did not surprise me that this took place here in Olympia. Two years ago I came here with my fiance to to teach at a private school here. I was actively recruited due to my specialized training and experience. When I arrived, the reception cooled. Why? It was hard for me to adjust to a new environment coming from the city. I wasn't quite what the people who hired me expected. Outside classroom observers stated that my teaching methods were excellent and my rapport with the children was loving. But my fellow teachers decided feminine nurturing side needed some help and I was assigned a mentor. Through the grapevine it seems that someone at the school found out that my husband likes to dress up as a woman sometimes when we go out. How does this affect my work as a teacher? It also came out- that I had girlfriends before meeting John. After this a colleague confided in me that I probably would not last in my career as an elementary school teacher if I married John. Before the school year ended I was let go because my colleagues felt I wasn't healthy enough to handle my class. If you know Olympia's private schools,you may be able to guess which school I am talking about. There are certainly other issues that affected this situation , but certainly sexual orientation was one. I learned the hard way that if you can't be out about who you are at work, don't work there! Some people snickered but I married John aka Miss Guidance the summer after I was fired. Two years later I am very much in love. When I was a little girl I dreamed of being the handsome prince or superman. In my husband I found both the prince and princess of my dreams. There are many kinds of personal and sexual reality and I believe in freedom for them all. Your son made the choice to speak out at 17. Let him be an example for all the kids who have th guts to speak up in their teen years. P.S. As you know ,locally (and in Anytown USA) there is still intolerance to be challenged. On the home front please keep your ears open about the "school" in Yelm. Two lesbians I know who are involved there have been told directly from the source that their orientation is wrong. Though I feel that everyone has a right to religious freedom, I draw the line when it comes to hurtful channeled proclamations of this type.

Name: Chris King
Website: I-D-R's world of intrigue
Referred by: Yahoo!
From: Wisconsin
Time: 2000-02-16 15:43:18
Comments: Thank you for sharing your story, I know it must be hard. I ran across this page while looking up genocide for a school paper. This story especially touched me because of my being friends with gay/bisexual people and seeing the disrespect they're often treated with. I will have to say it doesn't seem as bad at the school I am now attending and it is very good to see people are opening up to new ideas/life styles. My hope is for a world without hate. I now know what I will be doing my paper on as well. Maybe my small contribution will help in the never ending battle against hate-crimes. Once again, thank you. Chris

Name: Gabi Clayton
Website: an index page to past guestbook pages, responses, and more...
Referred by: Tripod
From: Olympia, WA
Time: 2000-02-16 08:17:25
Comments: This new guestbook was started on 2/16/00. Links to pages with past responses to Bill's story are on the index page. Thank you so much for signing my guestbook. Love, Gabi

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