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Gabi Clayton. Olympia, WA 

 

 

Welcome!

My name is Gabi Clayton. I was born in New York City and have lived in Puerto Rico, San Francisco, Vermont, and Mississippi. I've been in Olympia, Washington since 1988. That is longer than I have ever lived anywhere!
I've always been an activist one way or another. My parents were left wing progressive people and I grew up on picket lines and protest marches, making me what is called 'a red diaper baby'.

I've been married 37-odd (very odd) years to my husband, Alec, and am the mother of two sons, Noel and Bill.

My life has been anything but boring.



In 1995 our younger son Bill was assaulted in a hate crime based on his sexual orientation. He committed suicide a month later. Posting his story on my other website has been a way for me to turn the pain of his suicide into something that can help end the hate and ignorance, and hopefully save other people from what he went through.

I'm a co-founder of FUAH - Families United Against Hate, the webspinner and more for Safe Schools Coalition, current board chairperson of Youth Guardian Services, do the website and newsletter for PFLAG-Olympia, and I work with and do the website for Olympia Unity in the Community . See my Organize web page for more information.

I'm a licensed mental health counselor I believe that the work of therapy is about developing a healthy relationship with oneself and with other people in the community. It is about finding ways to live in balance and with integrity in what can be a complicated and difficult world that does not always make that easy. 

I've been on the internet writing for my own website and doing web design since November 1995.

Alec and I own ClaytonWorks - web design, graphic arts, editing and desktop publishing. We each bring over 30 years experience and a dedication to high quality, dependable and timely service. We avoid flashy gimmicks and seek maximum impact through clarity of statement and design. See the website for more information and links to websites we have designed. We also own ClaytonWorks Publishing, our indepedent book publishing company,

See links to more information in the menu above, and see our photos on our Flickr account.

 

My blog inside the outsider ...  is a mixture of personal things about me, my family and friends;
and also the issues I am interested in and articles I recommend reading,
and
my blogger profile has information about my favorite movies, music, books, etc.

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My Family 

     
my husband Alec   our son Noel and his wife Liz   our son Bill   our friend Catherine

Okay, I know I'm biased, but I believe my husband, Alec, is a fantastic writer and artist. Alec has written six novels: Return to Freedom (which is a sequel to Backside) Reunion at the Wetside, The Backside of Nowhere, The Wives of Marty Winters, Imprudent Zeal, and Until the Dawn. He published his books through our indepedent company, ClaytonWorks Publishing. If you are an agent or publisher interested in working with him, contact him. I think his novels would make terrific movies! Alec writes for two publications in Tacoma (between Olympia and Seattle): an art column called Visual Edge for The Weekly Volcano, a theater review for The News Tribune. After they are printed he publishes all his reviews and information and more in his blog South Sound Arts etc.  He also writes articles for ThurstonTalk. Alec doesn't paint anymore, but he does show his paintings occasionally and by appointment. His art is contemporary/abstract. His book about art is As If Art Matters You can see more about his writing and his art on Alec Clayton: Art and Writing.

Our son Noel lives in Seattle. He's the Master Stage Carpenter at the Leo Kreielsheimer Theatre at Seattle Repertory Theatre and a Journeyman Member of IATSE Local #15, the labor union representing the crafts of stage and projection in Western Washington: "the best technical talent in the Puget Sound". He was secretary of the Local for six years ending in early 2012. He has a degree in Acting from Western Washington University in Bellingham. He's been a vegetarian since high school and a marathon runner since 2007. Noel is a very special young man with a warm heart and a wonderful sense of humor. Do I sound like a proud mom? You bet I am!  This is Noel...  is an old photo collage I did of him many years ago.

Noel married Liz in August 2011! We adore her and are very happy that she is a part of our family now. Liz is a stage manager for StoryBook Theater and Studio East Training for the Performing Arts. She is originally from Speedway, Indiana. She's a graduate of University of Notre Dame and has a Master of Fine Arts in Drama/Theatre for the Young from Eastern Michigan University.

Our son Bill was openly bisexual. In April of 1995, he was assaulted in a hate crime here in Olympia, WA (USA). On May 8, 1995 Bill committed suicide, despite loving support from his family, friends and many wonderful people in our community. Bill was 17 years old. He was a bright, warm and creative young man. He is greatly missed. Please remember him, and speak out to end discrimination, hate speech and violence against people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender -- and against anyone for any reason. I published Bill's story on a website I created after his death that focuses mostly on GLBTQ issues and resources, but it is all connected. We are all connected. And silence is where the hate grows.  

 If you would like to know more about what happened to Bill, please read Bill's Story -- Portrait of a Son's Suicide. Thank you to Youth Guardian Services  for hosting that website for me.


Catherine Dawdy is very much a part of our family. She was one of the very first people we met on the evening of our first day in Olympia in 1988. She was our housemate for several years, and she was and is second mom to our sons. She is a great massage therapist, and she has a gorgeous garden!

I also have a great sister, Mimi, and brother Michael in Northern California. If you want to know more, check out the essay I wrote about my family, Encircled By My Heritage.

 
 

That's Steve Schalchlin hugging me!  Steve is also family for me. I created The Steve Schalchlin Fan Club (his name is pronounced Shack-lin) A wee bit of silliness meant to seriously celebrate this man who very seriously honored Bill and me.  This amazing friend of mine is a songwriter and is the composer of the powerful musicals The Last Session (1996) and The Big Voice: God or Merman? (2002) which he wrote and performs with his wonderful partner Jim Brochu. His website site features a wonderful online diary, Living in the Bonus Round and then he is the person who inspired me to begin a blog with his Living In The Bonus Round: Where time speeds up and the prizes are better. Steve released a CD The Bonus Round Sessions in May 2000. Included on it is Will It Always Be Like This , about which Steve wrote: "Inspired by the true story of our friend Gabi Clayton and her son Bill." The lyrics of that song are here. In August 2002 Steve released a new CD "Beyond the Light" which has another version of the song about Bill on it. His songs are fabulous. In October 2002 he released the original cast recording of The Big Voice: God or Merman? For more information, to hear MP3 clips and to order a CD and more, go to http://www.youth-guard.org/cd.  Part of the proceeds from the sale of Steve's CDs benefit Youth Guardian Services.

 

Soon after September 11, 2001 I wrote:  I want to recognize that this is a time when we all are aware of the vulnerability of our country and our people after the attacks on the east coast. I have been reading about people feeling that those acts of terror have stripped away the sense of safety that we as a nation felt. While I acknowledge that is true in some important ways, I would also like to say that it has been a long time - if ever - since many of us felt safe, when so many people in this country and in our world are targeted, harassed, beaten and killed because of bias based on their real or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, race, religion, ethnicity, ability, etc. Many of us have been aware that we have lived in a war zone all along. Six years ago my youngest son was beaten because he was bisexual. He committed suicide a month later because he believed he lived in a world filled with hate he could no longer face. When I watched the news and heard that people were throwing themselves from the windows of the World Trade Center as it was being destroyed, I thought of my son Bill.

Please see this page for my response to 9/11/01 and then to the invasion of Iraq. 

Medical stuff: I've had Claudication in my legs since around 1990 or 1991 during the first Gulf War when my legs started hurting during peace marches. That's caused by smoking cigarettes and high cholesterol. I finally quit smoking in 2003, a few month after Alec had open heart surgery. I found out I have Epilepsy when I had my first big seizure in 1998, and I have had eleven so far but haven't had one since 2008. The kind of seizures I have are called complex partial seizures . I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in 2003, and started on insulin at the end of 2009 when oral meds, diet and exercise were not controlling my blood sugar. I was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy in 2008. The meds for that help some with the pain in my feet, legs and hands but won't fix the nerve damage. In November 2009 I was diagnosed with mild right (possible left) carpal tunnel syndrome, mild ulnar neuropathy at the elbow, and Martin-gruber anastomosis in both of my forearms.

My e-mail address is

To open an email to me, click on "email me" in the menu above.
I get a lot of mail and I try to answer it all (except the spammy stuff) but with all I do and sometimes because of poor health,
the volume can be overwhelming. So you might receive no response, a short message, or there may be quite a delay before
I'll respond. Sorry. Please don't take it personally. And if you haven't heard back from me and you want to, send me a note.

 

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© 2007-2012 Gabi Clayton

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